orange peel

i wish i had a hobby

2010-02-21T19:32:00.006-06:00

that's me, bent over, enjoying a good puke.

a few weeks ago i went mountain biking with a couple of buddies. it had been a long time since my last off-road session; in the neighborhood of nine months. it seems the seminary lifestyle does not encourage the healthy appreciation of a hobby that every man needs. add to that a new girlfriend and you may understand why my hobby time vanished, though it may have been filled with other enjoyable pursuits (such as hanging out with said girlfriend, now fiance, soon to be wife in less than two weeks.) since my engagement i dropped out of seminary, and i'm hoping to reenter on a part-time basis perhaps next fall. the last two months sans school has allowed me the free time even amidst wedding planning and various wedding showers around texas, to re-kindle a once hot hobby-affair; cycling. unfortunately the winter has been cold and wet, leaving the trails sloshy and muddy. alas, i lack a road bike, and a ride on the road is less than desirable on my single-speed beast of a mountain bike.

nevertheless, my mind, when not occupied with my fiance, the wedding, work, church, and whathaveyou, has been resting upon thoughts of that spectacularly-built, simple-machine all mankind knows and loves. i have spent hours online perusing ebay and other dozens of retail sites looking at bikes and parts. i have flipped through hundreds of pages of bicycle magazines reading article after article, trying to fill a void left by poor weather and poorer trail conditions. this time of the year is known as the "off-season" for non-winter sports. i didn't take advantage enough of the previous season so the off-season feels even longer.

my last cycling adventure was not my brightest cycling moment. that's when the delightful picture featured at the top was taken. yep, i vomited right there on the trail.

i've never been afraid of throwing up, especially while doing physically demanding activities. its always freed me up of whatever was slowing me down from the inside, and i'm usually better off for it. here's the break down; i ate pizza right before riding with a couple of guys in much better cycling shape than me. naturally, i tried to keep up. not the best scenario. the guy smiling in the forefront is my friend brent. don't let this picture fool you, the dude can ride...he has just been eating too much of his new wife's good cookin.

after finishing up the business i am proud to say that i got back on the bike with a smile and road the rest of the circuit like a champ. it wasn't the first time i've puked while mountain biking and i'm sure it won't be the last. who knows, it could be next saturday.

engagement

2009-12-07T19:46:00.005-06:00

it has been 3 months since my last entry. a lot has happened and i have a couple finals that i should be studying for, so i thought this an opportune time to be blogospherical.

the biggest news that anyone remotely close to me should know is that i got engaged!! for the best treatment of this topic check out my fiance chelsea's blog. i cannot compete with her blog entry and so i won't give a detailed account of how and where it went down, but here's a picture.

it was wonderful and i'm super excited :)

i'd rather discuss the experience of being engaged. it's something that will only happen once in my life and so i should try to document it and enjoy it as much as possible. i say it that way because, frankly, it's difficult. my friend recently encouraged me by affirming that marriage is waaaaay better. in fact i've heard from a number of couples that their engagement was the most difficult and stressful period of their relationship. i'd say it has been that for ours, though we're making it through pretty darn well so far. after the proposal the wedding arrangements kicked into gear fast. chelsea and her mom are on top of it. seriously, they wasted no time. they're like a nascar pit crew with lug-nuts flyin everywhere and rednecks in wife-beaters eating chili-dogs in hundred degree weather. we already have the place for the wedding and reception and the invitations picked out, she has a dress and bride's maid dresses, we're making guest lists, and we registered. apparently there's still a lot more to do...i can't imagine what.

how cute is she?!

in the short time i've been engaged i've learned that it is great for several reasons:
we are learning how to plan big, important things together
we are learning patience and discipline
we are becoming "we"
people are going to buy us sweet stuff
in 3 months we'll be married

it's also hard because when you're engaged you have to drive all over to do things you would not ordinarily do. i'm not complaining because it's all good stuff and i don't hardly do the amount chelsea does. but, it demands more from the schedule. i also have to take a lot more pictures than usual. i told chelsea that each picture taken reduces my life span and that she's gonna have to deal with that someday when i die early, but she still makes me take them.

honestly, it has all been really fun. i get to hang out all the time with this great girl who will some day be my wife, and we get to plan our future. every thing we do reminds me of why i love her and why i asked her to spend the rest of her life with me. she's a sweetheart and i don't mind getting a little mushy about her.

BRINGING MAN BACK

2009-08-28T17:44:00.015-05:00

I'm bringing man back.

there has been too much of this:(you need to enlarge the pic to gain a true appreciation.)

and this:

(this shirt is what's known as a "deep cut v-neck." apparently the original v-neck t-shirt didn't show enough of a man's delicate collar bone, thus the need for the "deep cut" version.)

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand this:

sorry, but it's lame and unmanly.
i'm afraid i don't understand the drive for a man to dress and style himself after a woman. men are not pretty, were not meant to be pretty, will never be pretty, and should not try to be pretty. we should let women wear clothes that have become the norm for them and we should stick to what we know.

so how will i bring man back?

first i'll be examining pictures like this:would robert duvall be caught dead having a beer with the any of those nerds?

how about bear grylls? does he wear chick pants?

negative, he wears man pants.

how about some grizzly adams?

the dude hung out with a bear.

what have i learned from these pictures? first, a man needs to be dirty. occasionally cleanliness is acceptable, but we shouldn't go overboard with cleaning products or good-smelly stuff. next, every day clothing should accentuate manliness, which means it should be basic and functional. facial hair, though not necessary, is clearly the direction in which to err. each of these dudes wore boots. just sayin, toms and all other shoes with wussy soles won't get you too far in the realm of manliness. lastly, no hair styling products.

my goal is to bring man back. in order to do so i will take several vows:
i vow not to shave my beard off for the entire school year unless it is into the form of other facial hair such as a mustache.
i vow not to use hair styling products such as gel or wax
i vow to wear flannel at least once a week, once i get some flannel.
i vow to wear boots twice a week.
i vow never to wear a v-neck t-shirt.
i vow only to wear pants made for men.
i vow to carry a knife in order to cut things.

the end of another summer

2009-08-18T20:37:00.005-05:00

i'm currently sitting in my living room waiting for my roommate joshua to get off the phone with his dad so we can watch the movie "the wrestler." i've heard good things about it.

i realize its been a while since i last blogged. chelsea keeps reminding me that i haven't updated this in a few months. oh, "who is chelsea?" you must be asking yourself (though i very much doubt anyone is reading this that doesn't know about my girlfriend and favorite person on the planet, chelsea calcatera.) this summer has been one full of events, and most if not all of those events are directly resulting from one much larger event.......................chelsea dating this bum named dominick.

to briefly sum up my girlfriend to any who have not had the pleasure of her acquaintance; she is lovely.that's one of my favorite pictures.

i don't want to get all gushy on the blog, so i'm keeping it short. she's in colorado right now and i miss her like whoa.

anywho, she wants me to blog, and she's right, i need to get back on the wagon. its been a wonderful summer even though i remained in fort worth...for obvious reasons. along with chelsea there have been other really good things. for one, i am the worship leader at bethel fellowship, my odd little baptist church. i've come to love leading worship and i'm enjoying every sunday. i hope to gain more insight into what worship is about in all its facets. i truly want to learn leadership in this area; how to care for the congregation and be sensitive to their needs for worship.

this morning i met with adam crawford, worship leader for cityview church in keller, tx. cityview is a 4 yr old church plant out of the village. adam has been there as their worship leader the entire time i think. he and his wife tabor, who are both good friends with chelsea, are very talented. the dude is great. i'm encouraged in my leading at bethel after having breakfast with him. most of all i'm excited to have another good friend with the same heart for ministry.

school starts thursday, two days from now. summer has come to a close, though this is a school year i am truly looking forward to.

guilt, but at the same time, who gives a rip?

2009-05-25T16:03:00.005-05:00

summer is here in full swing. i think it hit 85 Fahrenheit (it just took me three attempts to spell that word correctly) today. this summer i'm sticking around in fort worth, just like last summer. "but!" you ask, "didn't you stay in ftw last summer, and wasn't it the worst summer of your whole life!?" yes, i did, and yes, it was. this summer is drastically different though! first of all, i'm not working a lame-o job at school that gives me severe depression and thoughts of suicide, or at least homicide. secondly, i will be taking one summer class (that actually affects my psyche positively b/c i am not wasting my life). third, this summer i have incredible friends who like to run around outside and party. i made some amazing friends over the school year, heck yea! so, i've been hanging out, a lot. and i've been partying and playing, a lot. i almost feel guilty, but who gives a rip? i worked hard for nine stinking months and now i have six weeks to live it up. the weather has been great and i'm in the best shape i've been in in the last two years. i mean, it's not all fun and games cuz i work, about 35 hrs a week, and i'm still real involved in church. the difference however, is the lack of class work, which i've found occupies a vast amount of space-time. i've simply filled that empty space-time with fun. best idea i ever had.

so today is memorial day, no work, beautiful. i slept in, awoke, and went mtn. biking with my buddy, michael. it was great except he needs to upgrade a few key components (brakes...), and then we ate some freaking barbeque! what will i do tonight? well, maybe i'll watch a movie (i watched two yesterday b/c it was raining) or read a book (probably not) or go out (...) or get a tattoo (don't worry mom it'll have you name on it, "mom").

wanna hear what i did last week, b/c i do! monday-work, swim, hang out with friends. tuesday - work a half day, work out at rac, rock climb to exhaustion with friends. wednesday-work, no working out, church. thursday - work half day, swim, don't remember what else but it involved friends. friday - work, swim, go out for my bday with friends. the weekend has actually been keyed lower than the week. i've spent more time relaxing with myself. it has also been good.

i've been swimming a lot b/c i want to get in to swim shape for a triathlon(s). so far so good, though i doubt i'll be in shape for the xterra tri in little rock which contains an 800 yard swim component followed by a ten mile mtn bike ride and then a 5k. for reals chelsea, 800 yards?

as good as it gets.

2009-04-04T16:00:00.007-05:00

i just realized that i need to log this moment away while it's in the present. i'm currently reaping the benefits of a great decision made yesterday. while at work, around 2:45 in the afternoon, i spontaneously decided to drive to austin for the night. after looking around i realized that if i stuck around for the next two hours at work, for one i'd be bored, and secondly i'd miss out on some ideal roadtrip weather. so i called my dad and let him know i was heading home. my sister was gonna be in town with her boyfriend tj, and they along with my mom had wanted me to come down anyways. it was a nice surprise for them when i showed up at the house that evening.

i'm currently sitting on my back porch in the shade. we've been out here all day. my dad's slow-smoking a brisket, mom's lying on the hammock, and mary k and tj are in the house making chocolate truffles. in a couple of hours two of my cousins along with their boyfriends are coming over for dinner.

the weather's perfect, breezy yet warm, the grass and the trees are a lush green, and the birds are back. i love it when the sunlight passes through the tops of the leaves, lighting them up while the foliage below remains dark and shady.

if i had stayed in ft worth i'd be at the tcu library writing a paper. it'll get done, and there will always be another paper. but moments like these only fall into place only so often.

great saturday.

2009-03-24T21:15:00.005-05:00

sometimes i get a little bummed out. does anyone else want continual excitement, like in a movie or on a cool poster or in a great song?

i kind of just coast without becoming the person i like to imagine or leading a life that looks like the one i imagine. in my visualization i'm a lot cooler. well, i dress a lot cooler. and i hang out in cool places and only ride my bicycle around. i also have a fun job that is both hip and important. my home is well-lit by natural sunlight and i have a great sound system complete with a turntable/cassette player. basically, i would live in my friend travis's house in austin, if you've ever been there.

additionally, i write music and great short stories. occasionally i play in coffee shops, but mostly the songs are for me.

i suppose those things are all very shallow. i'm told they are. we're supposed to mortify the flesh or something. we're shooting for loftier things like godliness and service. i love those things, but i'm not sure it always has to be at the expense of...life.

i don't mind denying myself when it's necessary, but sometimes some of the things i feel compelled to deny don't seem necessary. these things feel like a natural part of me. i naturally want to be in certain places and to do certain things that are well-lit by natural sunlight. i also really want to ride my bike every where with people who also enjoy riding their bikes when possible. simple, i know, but it means something to me. maybe i'm a bad christian and seminary student. maybe i'm immature. maybe i'm bad at this whole self-denial thing. maybe i'm selfish.

or maybe i'm unhealthy for not expressing these things and thinking that i have to smother them.

2009-03-11T23:27:00.007-05:00

what if every person decided to stop.

to stop measuring one another.
to stop measuring themselves against their own silly ideas.

to stop making mirrors. let the pond be your cloudy mirror. we weren't meant to see ourselves so clearly and with such criticism.

God is there and big. He is much lovelier; beyond the immediate, imposing surroundings that temporarily confound our vision

"i again saw under the sun that the race is not to the swift and the battle is not to the warriors, and neither is bread to the wise nor wealth to the discerning nor favor to men of ability; for time and chance overtake them all."

2009-02-22T19:38:00.002-06:00

men don't want to know God as He is, but as they want Him to be

another one about fort worth

2009-02-22T18:37:00.009-06:00

what? i kind of live here now. i take the city that i live in very seriously.

in this post i'm complaining so bear with me.

everyone who knows me moderately well knows that i appreciate a good cup of coffee. they may also know that i thoroughly enjoy and spend most of my time in good coffee shops, or at least i do when they're present. you see my friends, in the last year three of fort worth's four independently owned coffee shops closed down. we very recently lost the best of them all, eurotazza. i didn't get to enjoy eurotazza as much as i would have liked because it was too far away for even a weekly visit. the only coffee shop other than starbucks still open is four star coffee bar located downtown. again, the location is the obstacle to my enjoyment. there's no way i'm cruising downtown just for a coffee shop every week. it's not even that nice.

for the sake of comparison i counted the number of indie coffee shops in austin and it numbered around forty (there could be more because i kinda gave up counting.) there is one in fort worth, which is a city of over 700,000 people mind you. college station has at least four that i can think of off the top of my head. so, college station has 400% more indie coffe shops that ftw at least, and austin has 4000% more. i think that's right, i'm no elementary mathemetician.

this is upsetting to me. there are seven starbucks in my local area. that there are nearly no non-corporate coffee shops in the city of fort worth while there are 10 starbucks tells me this; the people in this town drink coffee but they have no understanding of the value of the local coffee shop. they don't get it. i have observed that fort worth in general is relatively void of any locally owned businesses. where is the creativity? where is the challenge or initiative? where is the pride in one's place of residence? the city of austin however, time and time again asserts that they do their business their way. there's little desire for the manufactured, packaged, mass-marketed comfort of the universal product or storefront. the locals do it best for the locals. pride, creativity, authenticity, entrepreneurship.

i'm not anti-corporation. i'm sitting in a starbucks right now (obviously i have no choice,) i bought my shirt at old navy, and my hoodie at target. i'm fairly corporate. i am wearing simple brand shoes though. i can appreciate a capitalist economy in which the more succesful business is able to produce the product more efficiently and sell it cheaper than the next guy. this is bigger than the large-box corporations though. this is dependent upon the local consumer. this is a state of mind prevalent within a large population. it scares me. does anybody else care?? and i can't recommend that anyone else try to open a coffee shop or any other small business because it probably will not be sustained by local consumers. small business is not viable in fort worth.

this is obviously not just about coffee shops. to me the coffee shop crisis is indicative of much more. it represents a state of mind.

fort worth for the long haul?

2009-02-04T23:28:00.006-06:00

maybe, maybe not.

let's just all agree that the lord is crazy and beautiful. both. i'll tell you why i believe such a statement. the last nine months have been very literally, a roller coaster of emotions. in relation to past experience with my own emotions i would say this most recent roller coaster-ing makes those of the past look like the 25 cent airplane ride outside the grocery store. this one was big. based on that comparison, those of you who spent time with me over the last nine months might wonder if i typically express any emotion at all. i probably seemed pretty normal and chill. i was pretty chill for the most part, but it was in my alone time that the ride was most intense.

my greatest struggle has been over whether or not i should remain in fort worth. i've blogged about it in the past. basically, this city has been wretched and repugnant to me since the moment i crossed into its limits. it is not attractive and it seems to lack any character whatsoever. i moved from the mountainous wilderness in colorado to a tiny house in the bario with a steel plant for a backyard. add to that a truly abrasive, christian, academic atmosphere and you have a recipe for...hell? or growth (by the way, it's not all unattractive and it doesn't entirely lack character.)

i'll refrain from too many of the cliche's (refiner's fire, etc.). it does seem that we grow the most through adversity. ironically, the lord tends to move us exactly where we don't want to be. why? well, in my case it is so that i look no where but to Him. so that i find no contentment anywhere but in Him. if i can be content in fort worth, i've gone a long way towards that goal. there's more to it than that, but that is my ultimate lesson over the last nine months.

so...what exactly is keeping me? it seems that as i have realized more and more my freedom to leave, the lord has given me more and more reason to stay. my freedom has changed from freedom to leave, to freedom to remain. i am at peace with this. it has everything to do with my church. i know that no where else will i have the opportunity to do what i am doing in such a significant way. i am a part of something much greater than i realize and if i were to leave then i would lose this amazing opportunity. i am searching for church with people who are also truly searching for church, in the context of a ministry that is so needed and yet so neglected by the church as a whole. epic. my friends, this, this is epic.

eat your cat

2009-02-03T16:32:00.008-06:00

i ate lunch today with my good friends, brent and jacob. we went to italian cafe, home of the daily three dollar bottomless pasta dish. delicious and endless. among other things we discussed the current moral, philosophical, political, and religious state of our nation. as you can imagine the conversation quickly turned negative, then pessimistic, and then apocalyptic. in the midst of our less than cheerful observations i shared my realization of the fact that should the city structure fail on a national level, i could hardly provide for myself. allow me to explain what i mean by that. first, have you ever sat back and considered the amount of infrastructure it takes to support the city? if not, simply think of the amount we rely on basic transportation and technology for day to day living. we don't grow our own food, we have it shipped into stores. we organize our lives via computers and cell phones. our homes rely on electricity and natural gas for cooking the food we eat and heating the rooms we live in. i'm just saying that if these aspects of city living were somehow hindered we would be in rough shape. imagine millions of people in need of food and water with no way of providing for themselves.

my solution in such a dire and fictitious situation would be to make a run for the country-side. i could live off the land, kill wild animals and eat wild herbs. unfortunately, i know next to nothing about survival and i'm a pretty poor hunter/fisherman, despite the number of man vs. wild episodes i've watched. in reality i could hardly provide for myself and i'd end up a sad, emaciated human being.

as i shared my lack of survival skills with my friends the answer dawned on me; domestic animals! i could survive by eating domestic animals, or at least feral, typically domesticated animals, like stray cats. my friends thought that under such circumstances that would be a great idea. my break through led us to the logical conclusion that good citizens should no longer spay or neuter their animals, but they should let them breed so that under such dire, fictitious circumstances we could eat them. so, i'm gonna make a bumper sticker that says, "don't spay or neuter your cat, just eat it."

fort worth...keeping it...real??

2009-01-21T23:26:00.016-06:00

guys, fort worth is keeping it real

i recently discovered that we have a cumulative 60 miles of bike routes, with 240 more miles in the works. that's right, the city i thought was so outdated and behind the times is actually thinking in a forward fashion. i'm a little more inclined to enjoy my time here.

i won't bore you with too many details of the bike routes, but basically they share road space with cars on low traffic, low speed roads. it's now safer for me to cruise to the better areas of town on my very fashionable, healthy, and environmentally friendly monocog 29er. apparently streets are marked with signs designating them as bike routes, though i somewhat doubt the sign's effectiveness since i was entirely unaware of their existence until i actively searched the web. regardless, i feel a bit more justified cruising on the road by simply knowing they're there.

the impetus to my search and subsequent discovery was the motivation to start a bike lane/route initiative in this crazy town if no one else had. thankfully, someone else had.

my only hitch is fear. yes, fear is keeping me from diving headlong into bike-commuting bliss. i fear pitbulls; running around, free to roam to bite your leg off, pitbulls. for some reason folks in surrounding neighborhoods have no ethical qualms with letting their pitbulls run freely through the streets. i don't care what you say about the nature of pitbulls, i've been around several and they're all a little nuts. i can just imagine riding by the wrong one, being chased by it until i top out and am finally bitten right on the bum. oh, but if were to end with a mere bite on the backside i wouldn't be so cautious! no, those dogs don't let go once they get a hold of you, they don't understand catch and release, and they're incredibly strong. explosive strength. have you seen the size of their necks??
when i do finally man up i may cruise with a can of mace, or a black market police issue tazer. you know, the kind that can incapacitate a navy seal at 30 feet. my uncle's a cop so...i'm gonna try to get one. i promise to test it on my friends before i tag any wayward animals just to know that it works.

christmas shopping

2008-12-20T21:41:00.003-06:00

it took me three hours of serious shopping to buy two of my family members gifts. three. hours. of walking and driving and searching.

christmas.

what the heck.

intellectual faith

2008-11-29T23:21:00.011-06:00

a few months ago i had a rather heated debate with a friend over the usefulness of theology. over the course of the few days we hung out she made repeated jabs at seminaries, and specifically at theological studies. to be honest, i was the heated one. i finally had enough and became defensive, myself being a seminary student and an aspiring recreational theologian. my issue was not so much the personal implications of her attack as it was the practical.

the "evangelical" church is, for the most part, an anti-intellectual society. that is to say, it does not appreciate a biblical education or personal, disciplined, academic study of either the bible or extra-biblical subjects. it does not understand the need to rationally defend faith against the philosophies of humanism and scientism.
there are several reasons for such sentiments which i don't plan to list comprehensively. i will simply state that it has been a growing problem over the last century, resulting in the loss of the voice of the church in the public square; academia, the media, and politics. our voice has been lost because we cannot intelligently articulate a defense for our beliefs or create arguments against opposing beliefs. This has resulted in a divide between what is secular and what is sacred both inside and outside of the church. This division places what is sacred, what is of faith, on a level much lower than what is secular, undermining the defense of any guiding morality in society. due to the church's inability to affect the culture it is now affected by the culture, thus faith has been privatized and undervalued in minds of believers.

certainly, people could possibly get caught up in study and become irrelevant to the needs of society. i'm not arguing that any should go to such extremes with their education. however, we have most definitely become irrelevant by our neglect of academic study to improve our faith. doctrine without faith will be useless and faith without doctrine will be misguided. what i would like to see is the encouragement of a well-rounded faith, which includes studying a variety of topics from the perspective of a christian worldview in the midst of biblical study. the average lay-person does not necessarily need to attend a seminary, but a pastor does.
furthermore, doctrine should not be a bad word, and it should not be thought to be boring. doctrine is the result of passionate study of God's Word in order to understand His will for His church. we learn from the bible to understand the means by which we may please Him. everyone lives by doctrine without realizing it, so we should do our best to live by the right doctrine. and who better to direct us than the one or ones (ideally) who have spent the time studying God's Word truly?

ekklesia = gathering

2008-10-25T16:24:00.017-05:00

this is where i flesh out the frame of an idea that has been slowly growing in my mind. i have found that my mind is like a crock-pot. here is part of the result of weeks of cooking.

my favorite way to begin a discussion is with a question. what is church, truly?
there are two senses in which church is discussed, one being an idea of the "universal church", and the the other is the local church. the idea of the universal church is the collection of believers past, present, and future, here in this time and outside of this time. i attribute this idea to the whole of the body of christ. i believe it is the kingdom of Christ. the local church is that much smaller, immediate gathering to which you belong, or which you attend, if you do either. i use the word "gathering" here for a reason. not to get too technical but the term used by paul specifically, and by the n.t. as a whole is ekklesia which more truly could be translated as "gathering." i could get into a discussion over its etymology but that would be boring. so, gathering of fellow believers should suffice as a whole definition. the term "church" was adopted later to describe a christian gathering. i doubt i need to remind you that a church is not the building.
i'm digging into this concept of a gathering because i believe that's what a church is simply meant to be. a local church simply is a local gathering of God's children together. there are many purposes for gathering together; worship, education, fellowship, love, support, guidance, etc. when i use the terms "simple church" or "church simply" i mean a church bent on these purposes and nothing more.
when i consider many of the churches i've encountered and conclude upon their apparent understanding of the church's function, i have to imagine that they have lost the original intent for the church. i am living in the heart of the southern baptist belt. some may also argue i'm living in the heart of the bible belt. i'm less inclined to agree with that, nevertheless i have tons of churches to choose from. what applies to southern baptists probably also applies to non-denominational churches, presbyterian, methodist, etc. when i consider these churches the first thing i notice is their building. many of them are enormous probably because a bunch of people attend them. they also have a multitude of programs such as youth group, men's group, women's group, nursery, this bible study, that bible study, vbs, sunday school, etc. none of these things are wrong per se, but my question is whether or not these things are attempting to fill a void, and if so what should fit properly in the place of that void?
basically, i think we neglect true community and attempt to fill it in with all these silly programs.
instead of valuing the church for what it is designed to be simply, and loving it for that reason, we create large organizations that look good and make us feel good though in turn they do not function as they should. church simply, requires a vision for God.
a simple church is nothing more than the gathering of fellow believers together to worship God, to make God known, and to learn to love each other. in this context everything is covered, discipleship, teaching, you name it. these things are most fully experienced in tight community. tight community is best facilitated in a local area where individuals have the ability to see each other on a daily basis and to do life together. in acts chapter 20: 17-32 paul calls to himself the elders from the church at ephesus. in these verses he outlines his ministry in ephesus and the relationship he had with those gathering together. we see that in three years time he created a community of believers, taught them, and discipled them to the point that he could leave them to fend for themselves against the "savage wolves" which would come in amongst them. he says that, "i was with you the whole time...teaching you publicly and from house to house." he was with them in sickness and in tears, in good times and bad. he was married to them! none of this driving 25 + minutes to church every week. a commuter community can not flourish. paul did life with these people and in that context he raised an strong, tight community of christians.
i also believe evangelism is best performed when faith is lived day in and day out in the eyes of non-believers. how effective would a tight community of believers be growing together in love everyday before those in their local area who have no hope? yes, it would be messy but messiness would only speak of authenticity and humanity in light of grace. i believe we avoid this concept of church because it would be messy. who are we to hide our messiness behind the walls of big buildings?
in order to succesfully create this simple, tight church gathering we would need to cast off a lot of pride and most of our concept of church. the pastor of this gathering would have to "settle" for service away from the spotlight. he may never get paid. he may never have a flock over 30, which may be advantageous if he never gets paid. maybe they never move into a building but remain in a home for their gatherings. i would argue that if such a community with such a vision is to exist its numbers must be limited (maybe not as low as 30) to encourage the maximum bond between members. when the numbers consistently exceed that capacity then another gathering should be created. this would not necessarily be a problem if discipleship and clear teaching are emphasized from the beginning. in this way a network of simple, tight churches could be created, and perhaps occasionally there could be a larger gathering of communities to worship and fellowship. i don't see why missions or anything else should be neglected by such a model.
let's let go of those things that hinder our growth together in Christ! let's let go of our pride and our fear!

random statements

2008-10-24T22:55:00.006-05:00

that last blog about truth or agenda made no sense.

i would like to own a dog and name him snuffleupagus but call him "gus" for short.

vespa scooters are the only vehicles that make sense.

i partially take that last statement back because bicycles also make sense.

in heaven we will get to know everybody as well as they can possibly be known because we will simply have the time.

i would look really good on a vespa scooter.

bad music is immoral.

i hope i'm not immoral when i play the guitar.

dishwashers are awesome and you people who have them don't truly appreciate them.

my bathroom faucet leaks.

if you want an outdoorsey feel at home just sleep in your sleeping bag.

i am still accepting applications for a scholarship wife.

a scholarship wife is defined as the following: attractive woman willing to marry me and work to put me through school.

apparently i resemble michael scott from the office.

tomorrow i will make a sling david and goliath style.

truth or agenda?

2008-10-02T23:43:00.004-05:00

i am caught somewhere between trying to figure out what is correct and what needs to be correct. is this essential? yes. and is this essential? maybe not. does this action have everlasting consequences? if not is that reason enough to justify it? are there any actions that do not have everlasting consequences? what is truth and what is an agenda?

it is easier to deal in black and white.

i understand that we try our best to make things black and white, but things aren't always so clear and perhaps it's unfair to make them submit to our will. can we cast a verdict upon things that are not clear with such certainty? are we meant to? what do we miss out on when we err one way or another?

there are universal essentials no doubt, i believe that as much as anyone. though there are also essentials for you that are non-essential for me. in my opinion these are two valid statements that do not contradict each other.

thankfully the univeral essentials are clear. so should we try to universalize the unclear personal essentials? again, where is the line between truth and agenda?

scandalous

2008-09-21T00:36:00.003-05:00

it's late and i need to be up early tomorrow, but i haven't posted in a month and a half.

i've been learning a lot lately. i'd say i have learned more in the last two months than the average person learns in a span of two months. take that, average people! i doubt you would truly care to hear about my specific learnings...actually, you would probably learn that i tend to learn things later than most that is, if i were to enumerate my recent learnings. i feel that most people already know what i know, and if they don't then they should. wait, that's not true. my learnings are on a much deeper level than the average person. i'm not saying i'm better than average, i'm just deeper than average, which, depending upon the reader, might also mean i'm better than average. see, i allow for a sliver of relativism in my daily life, so i'm also open-minded. unless you're wrong. now that i've genuinely insulted most people i will get down to business.

i've been having a good time lately. you're probably wondering, "how in the world has dominick been having a good time lately, i was under the impression that he complains about everything?" and to that i would retort with, "tisk, tisk." the first tisk would answer that yes, it probably does seem like i complain about everything, and the second tisk would serve to explain that i have been breaking every illegitimate rule set forth by the local religious sects (in the name of Jesus of course) and have found that i actually enjoy life more for it. listen, there are certain things of paramount importance to the christian faith. there are things indispensable to the effective witness of God's word, and then there are things superfluous and restricting. these extra things are added by man to serve man's purpose in what they perceive as godliness. this godliness, let's call it false-godliness, was not in fact dictated by God in His scripture. this false-godliness has been fabricated by a culture of christianity to create a facade of piety. there are things which are down right negative to the kingdom of God as dictated by God, and then there are things negative towards the kingdom of man as dictated by man. i will simply give the example of dancing. in the circles in which i run (not by choice; more by simple association) dancing was and still is to an extent looked down upon. dancing!? can you already see the argument against dancing?? that some use dancing to insinuate lewd behavior...to hint of acts that are immoral. this fact leads many to the reactionary response of eliminating dancing from the list of appropriate christian behavior and placing it on the much longer list of shameful, worldly behavior. let me insist that reactionary responses to anything are almost never okay. all things may be and usually are perverted. this does not mean that we eliminate them in their entirety. we must weigh them out and discern whether and how they should be reclaimed for Christ. dancing is one of those activities that should be reclaimed for Christ. we should enjoy dancing because it was created for us to enjoy in the Lord and with each other. scandalous!! i am not nearly at the end of my argument against reactionary responses governing Christian behavior, but allow me to finish this segment by encouraging us to closely evaluate with the bible, all the rules or guidelines we have created. evaluate everything you have been taught by this standard. examine your closest assumption, even the most obvious "fact." from there, with scripture as your guide, move toward the necessities. you will probably find that a lot of what you have been taught is very good. but i'm sure there is some of what you are taught that serves not God but man's created agenda. i find the process liberating.

good night.

summer

2008-08-06T02:05:00.000-05:00

summers should feel satisfyingly short. typically they do. typically by the end i look back wondering where it all went and though disappointed for a moment i realize that a short summer means it was a good summer. this summer has been arduous and long. is this what adult summers feel like? not summer? i must admit; this summer has been long. have i said that? contrary to what its relative length might infer, it has not been bad. actually it has probably been one of my best summers though it was completed with less ease or grace than any other. i suspect i may be near one of those moments of epiphany that come at the end of a difficult time. then again my sensing an epiphany might very well mean one is certainly not around the corner. suffice it to say that i feel like i've gotten somewhere, with or without an epiphany.

life life life and my quarter life crisis

2008-07-21T21:22:00.000-05:00

i've been trying to convince myself lately that i'm not wasting time. do you often feel like the things you're doing are trivial and that you're letting some life that's "out there" get away? well, i do. i think i've been watching too many movies and reading too many books. movies and books hardly ever focus on the mundane seasons of a person's life. yes, they may briefly note the mundane, bleak existence of the main character while introducing the story, but the purpose of doing this is to then provide a backdrop from which exciting change and adventure takes place. a number of movies come to mind when i think of such stories, garden state and stranger than fiction being the immediate examples. maybe i'm waiting for that film-worthy moment in my life, or maybe i just want my life to be epic. forget one film-worthy season in life, i want my entire life to be film-worthy! don't misunderstand me, i could not care less about my life becoming a film or story, and i certainly do not care to be famous. i do care to have an adventurous life. so far i'm not doing terribly, though i have one complaint against myself; all of my decisions are too calculated. i think too much. i worry too much about what other people would think. i am a slave to obligation. these are my difficulties being adventure. plus it's just not practical to the average human. i'm not alone in this, most people are not adventurous and most adventures are short-lived. sure, a lot of folks are "adventurous," but in cute ways. i'd say my adventurous expressions are "cute." the problem with cute adventures is that they are always controllable and they end as soon as the person experiencing them becomes uncomfortable. in my humble opinion a true adventure is uncontrollable and unpredictable. the point of an adventure is that you don't know the outcome and that you cannot easily control it, but that you hopefully remain alive to accomplish some important goal in the end.

i once listened to donald miller speak on "life as a narrative." it was brilliant and really enjoyable. the gist was that every good story has conflict. there must be something at stake in order to create an adventurous, interesting narrative. the bible is full of conflict and thus, interesting stories. miller asked an explanatory question using two scenarios the first of which involved a man working for a volvo, and the second involved a woman (his friend) working to build 1,000 wells in africa. his question; which would you care most about? if the man falls short of his goal and never gets the volvo it could be somewhat sad because perhaps he worked very hard, but not getting a volvo is hardly tragic. but if the woman fails to complete her goal of 1,000 wells we experience the loss of something much greater. lives are literally at stake, villages of people will not have easy access to water and their standard of living will remain low. see? not only must there be something at stake in the outcome of an adventure but getting there must be challenging. through challenge the adventurer is changed, matured, seasoned, and wiser for having the experienced the adventure. so let's view my criteria:

1. an adventure must be uncontrollable and unpredictable
2. there must be something valuable at stake (ethical value is a plus)
3. the person experiencing adventure must be changed (ideally for the better) in the process

reasonable? perhaps you say, "by this criteria i'm adventurous most of my life." you are either deserving of props or of a long vacation from adventuring. i imagine it can be pretty exhausting. after all of these considerations my question is whether adventure is sustainable. (there are some really annoying teenagers flirting at the table next to me. it's frigging horrible.) each respective adventure must have a conclusion. but is adventure as a lifestyle feasible? can adventure be somewhat practical so that interest and intrigue are still present in the midst of everyday? now i could end by saying something really lame like, "let's have an adventure finding the answers to these questions." i hate that stuff, haha. all i can say is that i'll be thinking about it and asking a bunch of people their opinions, and then hopefully i'll just go for it somehow.

goodnight.

so, what is new?

2008-06-22T16:21:00.000-05:00

what is new? well, there are some new things. some things there are which are new to me in my life at this moment. i have a new job. that's new. i am leading worship at my church, which is a new experience. i have never led worship in my life. the church is beginning this new direction as a church focused on special needs families. that's a new concept in general. i made a few new friends today, and maybe these new friends will become old friends. old things are good. new things are good most of the time since they break up monotony, but old things can be extremely good. comfort is nice, and sometimes old things become comfortable, comfy even. but, sometimes old things become rote, boring, hindering to growth, and "comfortable" in a bad way. that's where new, shiny, new smellingy things shine in their shiny new way.

so, i lead worship now with a guitar and some vocal chords. up until a month ago i had not sung and played guitar simultaneously with much success, and i had never really sung in front of another person, let alone other people. this new found ability is absolutely a blessing from the Lord meant for this time. it's hard. leading worship is hard. i have so much more respect for men and women that make it look effortless. i have to put in a lot of effort for what i consider a mediocre outcome, but that's simply how it is right now. praise the Lord because it could be worse!

our little church

2008-06-04T22:56:00.000-05:00

we've recently had some very exciting opportunites develop at bethel. a family from another church in fort worth approached us asking if we would consider a different focus; families with children who have special needs. essentially there is no church in the dallas/fort worth area geared primarily towards families with a special needs child. typically churches that do have a ministry for special needs members devote no more than a spare room and perhaps a sunday school teacher to them. this is not enough because problems are complex and to effectively engage a person with say, autism, a teacher must know their specific learning method. it's difficult for families to get along in church when their child has no understanding for social norms, has frequent uncontrollable outbursts, and receives little more than odd stares. there are even instances of families being asked to leave a church because of their child's autistic outbursts (one church issued a court order for against an autistic child.) this affects the entire family, alienating them from churches and church in general. there is a great need for churches that are open to such families and oriented towards educating their children biblically. there are so many families in the d/fw area with this problem who have such a desire for strong church community!! how could it be so easily overlooked? i ask this knowing that i would have gone the rest of my life without the thought dawning on me.

so, we're voting in a week and a half on this change. if all goes well, and i'm pretty sure it will, then a number of families with special needs children will move into our body and begin work with us immediately. we are currently connected to a network of families of children with autism in texas. after a lot of training and months of planning and structuring and working out kinks we will be ready for a relaunch. i'm incredibly excited about all of this. this opportunity without a doubt is from God. there is no way we could have thought of this, sought it out, and made it happen on our own, no way we could have brought this idea even past idea phase without the men and women that have come to us with their expertise and heart. not that we're past the idea phase, but i'm confident we will get there. i believe our small church body is equipped to handle the task and will rise to leadership. i am beyond excited!

a fantastic aspect to this vision is that it by nature breaks the mold of the standard church. we have to rethink everything. EVERYTHING. there will be typical church ministry because usually only one child in a family has special needs, leaving the rest of the family for a more typical ministry model, i.e. youth groups, small groups, etc, but the heart of the need is the child. i believe that at the root a church with this focus will discourage folks from simply showing up on a sunday without considering the true use of a church and their true role in a church. it won't be comfortable and it will not be smooth. i hope that everyone who does become a member will do so for a reason deeper than going to church just because it's sunday morning. i hope that by its nature a church with this focus will challenge us to servanthood.

coloradoan education

2008-05-30T21:49:00.000-05:00

i learned many things about my self in colorado last week, many of which i am still learning that i learned. the most prominent thing i learned is that i am extremely social and i benefit more from meaningful social interaction than alone wilderness time. i dream of being a mountain man, but meaningful connection heals me quicker than being outdoors alone. i wasn't even alone, i was with mike on our shortened camping trip, though i think he would agree that we were in our own thoughts most of the time. we each had a lot to think about. when we arrived at our destination, a short 2 hour hike into the mountain from HC, the weather was good with blue skies, moderate warmth, and a healthy breeze. we must have stayed in shape the preceding nine months to an extent greater than we expected because we booked it up that hill at 9-10,000 feet with thirty pound packs. taking advantage of our youthful, endless energy we explored the surrounding area and quickly realized we were bordered by a stream on one side, a mountain on the other, and snow ahead, blocking any chance of hiking further, but comfortable nonetheless. maybe we overestimated our youthful, endless energy because after arriving back at the camp we had set up we took a nap. fast forward two hours; the weather descended into perpetually overcast skies, whipping wind, and an occasional light sprinkling. by observing the sky over the mountains west of us we predicted rougher conditions to follow immanently. we needed a new camping location. fortunately during mike's exploration part two he stumbled upon a nearby covered camp site complete with a low, thick, tree canopy and fire ring. so, we dragged our tent for the second time to a new camp site, camp site mark 3. at csm3 we started a campfire; it took us three tries and one frustrating hour with slightly wet wood. the fire roared an hour and a half until right around 7:30. the weather had grown worse...but to the east over HC and the valley we could see blue skies and sunlight. life. unfortunately the weather was moving in that direction and only darker skies were following.
me, "hey mike, what time is it?"
mike, "i'll give you one guess."
me, "7:30"
mike, "7:30"
this was moderately depressing since we were both bored and thinking about who we were missing out on back at HC.
me, "you know we can go back"
mike, "you want to?"
me, "yes"
'nuff said. we packed up camp and extinguished the fire in ten minutes and were down the mountain in 45. we booked and made it back to HC in time for dark to comfortably set in. the rest of the evening was spent with the foxes, karin, and destinie watching "the alaska experiment" on a leather couch. let me tell you that i felt like infinitely less of an outdoorsman that night. the folks on the alaska experiment hiked 40 miles across frozen alaskan wilderness including 30 degree rivers, miles of glacier, and frozen morraines, in a period of 7 days. they camped in sub-zero temperatures and traveled far beyond reasonable capacity. they did all of this to socialize with two other people. i am a wuss who dodged a night of 30 degree weather in slightly wet conditions. but, i did it for relationships that i cherish. i learned a lot about myself that night. i have nothing to prove and people are more important than pretty places.

mary k

2008-05-28T13:52:00.000-05:00

that is my sister. she is very cool and cute and in italy right now. i just decided to dedicate my blog to her for a little while, primarily because i really like this picture of her and because she is far surpassing me in cool points as we speak. bravo mary k, bravo. i get to talk to her via skype tomorrow morning for the first time since she left (thanks to my parents for the webcam b-day present.) i think everyone needs to skype. if you have skype let me know so we can see eachother.

holiness

2008-05-19T00:01:00.000-05:00

i have found it impossible to comprehend the process employed by the Lord in bringing about a change of heart. it is especially impossible in the midst of the process to understand it. i suppose there are several steps within each greater step, though i don't suppose to fully grasp each little step or even to be aware of each little step. there is one little step however, that i am aware of and have better acquaintance with than any other. it's the step of stripping away. i say it's a step because i believe it's part of the process of change. and the primary object of the change of which i'm speaking is the heart; given by God, shaped by God, in fact God's very heart.

i say i'm familiar with it because it seems to have occured pretty frequently in my own life lately. i feel like i've been continually stripped of things this year, both things that i thought were good (and in fact are in several senses) and things that i know are bad. seminary has been the most difficult and most rewarding experience of my life to this point. i have fought it. i have fought the Lord most steps along the way. i've come to realize that being stripped from the inside by the Lord is probably much easier when i just let it happen. though most of the time i don't, and it probably hurts worse for that reason.

it's all for the sake of holiness. holiness is a concept no doubt foreign in its truest sense to most christians. i say that not condescendingly as if i have it figured out, because i know i do not. i say it sadly. i've caught merely a glimpse of it though even from this glimpse i realize that i do not observe it in most of my brothers and sisters. but who am i to observe from the outside? "you will know the tree by its fruits," but the fruits of another tree are not mine to judge. only my own fruits are mine to judge, and from them i know that i haven't done a good job pursuing holiness. the very thing i fight is the same thing i recognize as being the best. holiness is steep, holiness is radical, and part of the process of holiness is letting God strip of you of anything hindering you from closeness to Him. at least that's what i think a part of its process is.

holiness scares me, which is why i fight it. and by fighting i force myself into taking the long way to the Father. i think i'm gonna just run for Him. so without apology, i will be allowing what will probably be viewed as drastic and unnecessary changes for the sake of holiness. i know that i won't be as close to God without it. i pray that i can run with abandon.

joe and i have recognized some needs here at the seminary. to be frank, there are a lot of needs here. this place is...hard. hardened. pray for us as we pursure holiness and work for the needs of those here.

it's over

2008-05-12T13:48:00.000-05:00

that's right. school is out and summer has arrived. thankfully the heat has yet to arrive, though i'm pretty sure it is officially summer time. i suppose if it's officially summer to me then it's officially summer. i could care less about all the elementary school wieners still in class. as far as i'm concerned it's summer, buddy. so what's the first thing i'm doing for summer? well i can tell you the first thing i did. i got sick. that's right, two stressful days after my last final my body decided it had had enough of my antics and would take no more. so it essentially shut down, knocking me out for a few days with a righteous cold. my head is still stuffy and my voice still deep and sexy. the end of a cold is always bitter-sweet because though i feel better, my sweet, deep voice leaves.

after recovering from my cold i'll venture to houston to see my sister off to italy and to celebrate my cousin's long-awaited graduation. then i'm hopping a jet up to the CO for 9 days. oh sweet wilderness! i may not return, and i say that not as jokingly as you may think.

i won't be taking six hours this summer but three, if i return from CO. school is both expensive and physically taxing. i need time to make money and recuperate. my will has been broken. i need rest.

you can expect more soon concerning the lo-fi concept, hopefully i'll make more sense with it, and then a bit on the need for a divine renaissance, if i return from CO.

changing the world, baby.

livelo-fi.blogspot.com

2008-04-25T17:23:00.000-05:00

alright, as mentioned a few posts ago i have launched a new blog which will run tangentially with orange peel. it is named "local fidelity," which is my attempt to promote faithfulness toward one's community. i am taking on the personal challenge to ride my bike and shop locally as often as possible to simultaneously save gas and meet my community. if you would like to follow my progress please tune in to livelo-fi.blogspot.com. thanks and gig-em.

ant hills

2008-04-24T16:17:00.000-05:00

ants and men. i often question the existence of ants during the summer. i manage to wander into a fire ant pile at least once a year. as a kid i was ant-bitten on a regular basis since most of my time was spent in the grass or in bushes or even in trees (yes, they climb trees and they will bite you even if it's not their tree.)

ants are strong willed and single-minded. if you get in their way they will bite the crap out of you. they are precisely created and equipped to fulfill 3 purposes; protect the colony, protect the queen, bite people. as far as advanced science has been able to tell there is little else ants worry about. everything they do concerns their mission. eating is necessary in order to protect the queen and the colony, and to bite the crap out of people. sleeping, if they sleep (there has been no documented proof of ants actually sleeping,) would theoretically be necessary to stay awake in order to protect the queen and the colony, and to bite the crap out of people. arguably ants are necessary only to spite mankind.

are there any ants that have broken the mold by throwing off the bondage of societal expectation? are there any parent ants ashamed and aghast of their children ants who have run off to find freedom and individuality at the expense of the parent's values? we never hear about those ants. unfortunately when we see that lone ant we can hardly ask and expect a reasonable answer. ants are viciously self-absorbed. so perhaps there actually are free-thinking ants out there while we believe every one of them to be following blind instinct or social pressure. maybe there are entire colonies that differ politically from others. how could we know?

lo-fi

2008-04-21T13:21:00.000-05:00

i'm trying something new. my lifestyle needs to compensate both for the rising gas prices and a need for community. my solution is simple, yet profound. it's my bicycle; my sweet, chromoly, single speed, 29er, mountain bike. my primary mode of transportation is no longer my gas-loving jeep but my mountain bike. i bought it for commuting and i will use it for commuting.

i'm currently working on a new blog site which will run parallel to orange peel, dedicated solely to an experiment i have dubbed as the "living lo-fi." i want to be faithful to my locale, hence "local fidelity" or "lo-fi." catchy, no? is my boredom obvious? no, no, i earnestly believe there is a better way to live, a way more fulfilling than our oil-dependent, automobile commuting lifestyle, and it's all about community. i live close enough to work, to school, and to a market to ride my bike nearly everywhere. i believe most people can set up their lives in a similar fashion by simply giving it a bit more thought. so, to read about my experiment and my concept of an ideal living model, check back soon and i will post the new blog address.

the perfect storm and the perfect sermon

2008-04-10T12:29:00.000-05:00

the last twelve hours have been extraordinarily eventful. last night several raging thunderstorms came through the north texas area, the roughest of which hit my little neighborhood at about 3 am. that evening i had heard a lot of bother about tornadoes touching down nearby blah blah, tornado watch from 3-7 am blah blah. i'm invincible, i can sleep through anything.

i can sleep through anything unless it's 500 mile an hour winds trying to shatter my windows! i awoke to what sounded like the gates of hell opening. realizing in an instant that the walls of my home were probably constructed of cheap plywood from the '4o's, and my windows are in no way double paned, maybe 1/4 paned or 1/3 paned, i flew out of my bed and into the bathroom expecting the roof to come off above my bed at any moment. you are supposed to go into the bathroom or something in a tornado, right?

so there i was, lightning detonating all around me like mortars, the power was out and i was in my boxers. great. my home is about to be catastrophically destroyed and i'm in my boxers. when the relief workers from louisianna come to pick up the shattered splinters of wood that at one point formed my house i'll be wandering around in my boxers. then they'll give me a crummy blanket and i'll look even more pathetic on the 5 o'clock news.

all this flashed through my mind in about three seconds, between my bed and the bathroom.

after gaining composure and courageously reentering my room, expecting at any moment for a car tire to hurtle through my window, i located a pair of pants and t-shirt. better safe than sorry. then i realized my roommate joe was probably still on his way back from houston and caught in the middle of the apocalypse! actually he made it in about 10 minutes before the raging maelstrom descended on carroll park.

in the end we were fine, the house was fine, there was no tornado, and i felt like a pansy. at least the storm knocked out all the power in a three mile radius so class was cancelled until ten.

but it's not over. i'll keep this last part brief. i apologize before hand if this next section is less than constructive criticism but i can't help it.

i went to chapel today like a good seminary boy. our speaker for the morning was the pastor of the local "baptist temple" located about three blocks from my house. my reasons for not visiting it despite its proximity are that it is named a baptist "temple," it has a red light up cross out front, and a sign that says "we love our pastor and our king james bible." call me shallow.

i'll give it to the guy, he is passionate and on a fundamental level i really agree with his message. we are in a pivotal point in christian history and specifically christian history in america, and areas of life if not life itself will be sacrificed if we truly live our faith and proclaim the gospel. now personally, in preparing this message i would have left out the explicit 4 minute address from the movie patton! you know the one. i recommend you listen to it again and contemplate performing it at a seminary, and not just any seminary but southwestern, the bastion of southern baptist conservativism. yikes. i cringed and later laughed...a lot. the climax of this four minute rendition followed the reference to germans as "krauts" (i have several german friends who were each present in chapel.) it was most certainly the graphic description of putting your hand in what was your best friend's face, now a lump of goo. and we can't leave out the part about cutting down your opponent's belly and greasing your tank tracks with his guts which is very relevant to the type of warfare we wage spiritually.

this coloful illustration and many many more were employed to explain that as christians we are called to give ourselves in many ways for the cause of christ. i would love to share everything, but i'm afraid it would be less out of good natured humor and more out of my own false sense of pride. so, i'll leave it at that and say that despite its inappropriateness he made a point and i was entertained, though i think paige patterson our president was less than entertained.

what's crack-a-lackin'

2008-04-01T23:07:00.000-05:00

what i assume to be a stray cat appeared at my back door tonight. it's a female. i know that because it's also knocked up. i found myself wishing i could take it in and insure its safety though i just fed it some turkey and sent it off, hopefully to find some place warm. i'd be alright with a kitten. or i could give them all away and make other people happy. it would make life interesting for a while that's for sure. i am more of a dog person. puppies would be clutch.

enough about animals.

i hope the cat finds some place warm and safe...like my roommate's closet...

ok, enough about animals.

remember my post a while ago about potentially moving to college station? i was pretty convinced of it and i made a strong argument for college station. well, i visited it over easter and it was great. i saw friends, went to living hope, spent time with family. all in all it was a really pleasant weekend. though despite the fun and great company i realized while there that college station is no longer mine. fort worth is mine for the time being. i have a job to do here which i have to take seriously, and it would be much more difficult to do so in college station.

my job first and foremost is school. seminary has taken on a much greater importance than college ever had. college was for a career. what was i going to do with one of those? but what i'm working for now is so much greater than myself and any career i could ever pursue. i am training now to effectively bring others into the kingdom of God, to teach His word well, to disciple His church. my teacher today made the point that we should take our training as seriously as any doctor, professional athlete, professional musician, you name it. it's true. i'm sick of anti-intellectual christianity. if you do not seek God with your mind you are not seeking Him with all of your heart. people fear "academic" faith so they swing way over into the realm of experiential faith. neither are good purely in themselves, study improves upon faith just as well as experience. yes, there are ivory tower theologians, and seminary students in it for the wrong reasons, but i tell you my professors are some of the most impressive christian men i have ever met. don't be afraid to dig into the word for all it's worth.

so i will stay in fort worth for the next two and a half years, preparing in many ways for a lifetime of ministry. it's not too much to ask, there are much worse places to live. i live in luxury here; i have a bed, a couch, clothes, food, a/c, heat, blankets, friends, coffee, and books. i can live off a $7 an hour job. God has made my way easy thus far. i've grown to love the people here and my heart has drastically changed towards the seminary and its students.

i've also been given a great opportunity to serve in a house church pastored by my friend willis. essentially it's a church plant. at one point it may have been a functional baptist church but in the last few years it broke and collapsed. willis inherited a church building and twenty or so congregants. he has done well, making difficult choices for the kingdom and in the process alienating several of the few members who eventually left as well. it's just as well if they refuse to follown godly leadership. the house church is in a stagnant part of town with little to no growth. it's a mediocre area without really any church presence. the congregation is small, needing discipleship and a lot of prayer. it is entirely in the Lord's hands or at least more evidently so.

as you know if you read my blogs that i want to plant churches, so i'm even more excited of the prospect of learning first hand its difficulties.

orange art

2008-03-25T22:08:00.000-05:00

you have probably been admiring my recent orange art work. each work is meant to satirically depict an orange. the piece featured currently is an overweight adolescent orange excited about candybars. it's meant to expose the irony behind oranges as healthy food eating unhealthy candybars. dig.

evidently nothing will get done

2008-03-17T18:31:00.000-05:00

as serious as i am at times about scholastic endeavors i am still capable of slacking tremendously. it's comforting in a way. procrastination was the name of the game in college and i was the referee. since beginning seminary i have placed far too much self-worth in grades, even to the point of borderline obsession. so, it's comforting to finally lack motivation. i am currently sitting in my new coffee digs, eurotazza. it's everything a coffee shop aficionado could request; good coffee, free wi-fi, interesting music, nice atmosphere, friendly people, and adequate lighting. i brought all the material i have so far accumulated for my research paper and nothing else but this here laptop. thank goodness i remembered the laptop. i didn't bring any leisure reading because i was planning to be serious, no non-sense. now that i'm here i wish i had brought my book. it's really, really good. at least i have diversion in the laptop and free wi-fi.

is anyone else incapable of surfing the web? i can't do it. after checking my email, friend's blogs, and then facebook, i just stare at the screen thinking of the five other sites i know, and debate over whether or not i should check on them. the problem is that everything else i'm interested in involves spending money or traveling. you can probably relate. since i have no money and thus am incapable of traveling or purchasing frivolously, staring at those things would really only end in discontentment. so i'm at a loss.

it's spring break. by default everything is reset to great because spring break it is and living it up i am. there lies the catalyst to de-motivation, or maybe it's the de-catalyst to motivation. dr. taylor actually expects me to spend my spring break in the library with my nose in old creaky books? believe me, i will dive into any old, creaky book outside of vacation with the greatest of enthusiasm any nerd could muster for obscure theologians, but far be it from me to sacrifice this much needed chill time for one paper.

i was in barnes and noble the other day and for the first time ever ventured into the journal section. it occured to me that i've never had to purchase a journal of my own, they've always been given to me as gifts. my friends must feel very strongly about journaling. there were a couple of really cool journals. the most coolest of the coolest was a 100% hemp journal. it was so earthy and like, bio-degradable. eco-friendly journaling seemed to me, on the surface, to be a great idea. i mean, how uber-trend would that be? journaling and being environmentally conscious simultaneously. how about journaling about being environmentally conscious in your hemp, environmentally friendly journal, on the side of a mountain!? i think i would spontaneously combust into all natural, additive-free, carbon ash. but seriously, wouldn't you want your journal to be as impervious to degradation as possible? shouldn't it be made out of plastic or some other fully artificial material? let's say you leave it outside under your favorite tree for a few days; if it's made of semi-bio-degradable paper it could easily be destroyed by the environment and there go all your cherished thoughts and dreams. how much more so with a 100% bio-degradable journal? you can't let the environment take your dreams. that's why they should be made of styrofoam or some other environmentally indestructable substance, like aerosol.

wrecked

2008-03-16T21:47:00.000-05:00

i have been a wreck lately. am i allowed to blog about that kind of thing; that i've been a wreck lately?

for the life of me i have no idea what has been going on. i have never been so focused and yet absolutely broken down. i feel like i've been hammered from all sides though i still stand sustained. i am not enduring a dire circumstantial difficulty and i am not up against any real hardship, i simply think God has been taking me through some intense stuff over the last few weeks. what exactly he has been teaching me i do not know. i do feel that through all this i can say with confidence that my faith is my own and that my convictions are also distinctively mine. no one has convinced me through ethical or emotional appeals of what needs doing. God brought me to these realizations in His way.

i think i will plant churches. i am motivated by the undeniable misguidance and misplaced priorities in the average american church. am i saying i won't travel abroad for long-term missions? maybe.

i believe i have very legitimate reasons for staying here for the gospel. so far i've counted 260 million of them.

who knows what the next two years will bring, but at the moment i am led to plant churches in the US.

don't worry, i'll leave the bible belt. did you know that seattle is considered an unreached people group by the north american mission board?

can you swallow that?

i know i can't.

i can not.

america is not friendly towards the truth.

will i be persecuted physically working in america? maybe...probably not. does that mean a life of ministry in the US will be just peachy? i'm not convinced.

i am wrecked by these things. they have been a great inspiration.

thanks for listening, friends.

home on the mountain range

2008-03-11T22:56:00.000-05:00

ah mountains. mountains mountains mountains mountains. my friends i am a mountain man by nature. my spirit connects with mountains. not beach so much, unless mountains are nearbythen maybe the mountains would be magnified by the beach.

i've only been one place where mountains and beaches are within a few miles of eachother...santa barbara, CA. home. i knew it should be home as soon as we pulled in on the 1 at sunrise. too bad the yuppies got a hold of it and drove the prices up.

my point is; please stop. i am asking you to please, stop mentioning mountains, and rivers, and deer, and elk, and trees, and canyons, and snow, and sunsets, and antelope, and hiking, and bighorn sheep. i have never been so conscious of how far these things are from me. mind you, a river does run through fort worth and the sun does set here, however, in experience they are hardly comparable to real rivers and sunsets. so please do not speak of these things.

i am afraid of watching the movie "into the wild." i saw the trailer for it and that was enough. i'd probably forsake everything i'm doing here for fresh mountain air and aspen trees.

then again, perhaps for that reason i should watch the movie.

in an odd way i feel better when i think fort worth as my egypt and school as my bondage. though i believe i will look back on it as a sweet time.

i just wish it had a beautiful setting complete with virtually untouched wilderness and marmots.

have you ever heard a marmot? the noise they make is freakish. if they don't know you're around they'll call to each other. about every 30 seconds one will emit a single, extremely high-pitched beeping/squeaking sound like sonar to the max. it's most impressive around alpine lakes when the sound echoes and off of the surrounding rock faces.

some serious mountain-dwelling-time will soon be necessary if i'm gonna maintain mental homeostasis.

if anyone wants to camp and hike south colony lakes (THE most beautiful place i've ever been) this summer hit me up.

decisions

2008-03-06T12:37:00.000-06:00

i'm about to be very honest with those of you who read this blog. you will read thoughts that i have not fully voiced to any one, or even mentioned to most everyone. don't worry, it's not too controversial outside of my own mind, but it's something i'm taking seriously. i'll probably get defensive against my own arguments...because i'm weird. this disclaimer being given, i'll plunge right in.

i am seriously considering moving back to college station for the remainder of my seminary education.

i would join living hope again, get plugged back in and live life alongside the people there. most of my closest friends are still in cs, and when i visit, the church body still feels like family. i learned a great deal from the people there the first go-round; things that i hold as fundamental to a solid church founded on the right principles. looking at the discipleship potential alone i get excited! The depth and number of incredible men there is just unfair!! and the opportunity to serve is huge! so admittedly, there are some selfish motives...if you can call a desire for discipleship, and incredible fellowship, and service opportunities, selfish.

so what would i do for school? well, that's how this all came about. both my good friend chad and my sister have spoken to men in leadership about my time in fort worth (which has not been terrible by the way,) and each time they asked if i would consider moving back and commuting to the houston campus with them once a week.

why the houston campus is a good idea:

the faculty is top-notch in houston just as it is in fort worth

i would be granted a few more degrees separation between seminary life and real life
the atmosphere at the houston campus is reported to be less...weird
i could get involved in a place that i know will teach me practical skills in ministry while doing school
do i already sound convinced??

ok, so the things that are holding me back:
the grass is always greener on the other side
am i running from something?
am i really being selfish by looking out for what is best for me?

for some reason i'm afraid of being accused of "church shopping." you know, looking for those things that matter most to me, and moving from church to church until i find them. i suppose i am a bit, but what i'm looking for is much deeper than the average church shopper. and i'm in a period of learning, soaking up knowledge any way i can until i break out on my own into the world, right? (and don't you dare accuse me of only caring about head knowledge, this whole thing is revolving around the heart. besides, head knowledge is truly important to christians and i'm appalled by people who don't think so.)

I think i'm running not so much from something but to something. i can stick it out here and do alright. heck, i could do well, but i just can't shake the idea of taking advantage of the resources in cs while i am able. once done with seminary i will be off and running who knows where. shouldn't i have as solid a foundation as possible??

and i'm pretty sure the grass may actually BE greener on the other side, since i've been there.

any insight would be much appreciated; prayer even more so.

ripsticks and cowboy hats

2008-02-27T17:40:00.000-06:00

Today I crossed one more goal off my very lofty and lengthy "dominick's life to-do list."

I learned how to ride a ripstick.

"What's a ripstick?" you ask. Well, just reference the picture at the top of the blog. I'm sure you've seen the local twelve and thirteen year old boys shredding up your neighborhood streets on them. And I'm certain that the glint off their shiny clear coat has caught your eye in toys-r-us more than once. I was lucky enough to borrow one for the week from chandler, a freshman dude in my church's youth group. It's rad. Candy apple red just like the picture.

And yes, it only has two wheels. I'm pretty sure we got the technology from Area 51, probably martian.

I had an hour to kill this afternoon in between work and a take home test, and the weather was perfect. So I cruised that baby up and down my side-walk. Killer.

Ok, on a serious note I saw a guy today wearing a cowboy hat. "Big deal" you say, "You live in Fort

Worth." True.

The thing is, this guy was my height...in other words, not very tall. And he looked ridiculous in the cowboy hat because of his height. This is not the first time I've considered the height to cowboy hat ratio, but it confirmed my personal conviction; short dudes should not wear cowboy hats. We don't make cool looking cowboys even if we do have handle bar mustaches.

If you're not an actual cowboy you need to be tall to pull off the cowboy hat...or really stout...or mexican.

This guy was none of the above and neither am I, except in the middle of summer.

I have decided that if I were living back in the olden days when cowboy hats were less fashionable and more functional I would have been ok. Though, I probably would have opted for a hat more the style of Russell Crowes in 3:10 to Yuma; short brim, lower crown. You have to be a bad-a to pull that one off, so I most likely would have killed numerous men to get away with wearing it.

planned...attempted...and thwarted

2008-02-25T20:45:00.000-06:00

This morning I had a great idea; I was going to begin a documentary of my typical week. I would carry my camera around and take pictures of all the things I do, then post them on the orange peel and document things. It all started off well, I got some great photos of my oatmeal and coffee. I considered photographing myself while shaving and then decided it would be weird.

Off I drove to work to take some great pictures of the Riley Center and of my co-worker rudy and I goofing around.

Maybe I could have captured some interesting guests too? Who knows, it would be an adventure.

So I pulled up to work and took a good snapshot of the Riley Center, then of myself walking up to the huge tinted window outside. Next I would photo the front desk. But no! I couldn't take one of the front desk because my memory was full!!! Never fear, I could delete a few pics right? Right.

I entered the office with the plan to delete the old or crummy pictures and then get some good ones throughout the day. As soon as I walked in though, much to my dismay, I was confronted by 40 registration cards.

That meant I was going to check in 40 guests that afternoon.

No worries, Rudy would be there to help me out. What's that you say? Rudy is out sick today? And I'm going to check in all 40 guests by myself? And they're all coming within an hour and a half of each other?

(40 guests is a LOT by the way)

As you can imagine I lost any desire to fool around with my digital camera. I was far too busy dreading the next eight hours of my life alone and up against a small army of middle aged men in a hurry.

At the end of the day I had survived the onslaught with little more than tense shoulders and a mild headache, though my brain was too dead to deal with the camera. No more pictures today.

Why am I explaining all of this? I don't know. I was going to put up the pictures I did take and press on, but my camera just ran out of batteries and I have no more double A's. Nuts. At some point this week I'll get some batteries and begin the documentary.

At the moment I'm recuperating. Recuperating means I can't do any school work.

So i'm recuperating and blogging.

george macdonald and other things...

2008-02-23T17:20:00.001-06:00

I'm going to recommend an author to you. You may not have ever heard of him but I guarantee that you have benefited from his influence in countless ways. His name is George MacDonald, he has a killer beard, and the only book of his I have ever read is The Curate's Awakening. Other writers through whom we have unknowingly been acquainted with MacDonald are the likes of Francis Schaeffer, C.S. Lewis, and J.R. Tolkein. Lewis wrote a book on MacDonald aptly named, George MacDonald. McD's thoughts of God are clearly some of the highest I've read, certainly among the genre of fiction. I'm not knocking any of the others, I'm simply telling how great it is to read his writing. So if you're looking for the next book or author, he comes highly recommended.

Here I am six months later still in Texas, still in Fort Worth, still in seminary. Some of you may know that at certain intervals throughout those months I was about ready to throw in the towel and cruise back to Colorado. Or maybe I'd be better understood by saying that at certain intervals I considered staying in seminary. Well, I didn't act on the impulse to leave no matter how it lingered, and I am glad for it. I believe I've been comforted about where I am. It's a good place for me to be no matter how convinced I am at times that it's a bad place for me to be. The Lord has seen fit to strip me of nearly everything I clung to as desirable and pleasing; mountains, close friends, money, a church I completely agree with, and yes, ministry. Odd that he would strip me of ministry isn't it? None of these are bad in themselves and in fact I would say that most are good most, if not all, of the time. So why strip me of them? Because as I said a few sentences ago, I CLUNG to them. Not that I am entirely free and not that I ever will be ENTIRELY free while on earth, but I am less needy and more open to what He has for me now. It is good that I am here, though I can think of two dozen other places I would rather be. Though if I truly would rather be in those places why wouldn't I be, since I am as free as I wish to do so? I suppose I'm truly not that free because my desire has become to do what God wishes of me to do, and I have come to believe that means seminary, which happens to have ended up in Fort Worth. And throughout seminary I will learn what it means to do His will, which most likely will be through ministering to others through the love of the Jesus of the New Testament.

I have learned to be content.

It feels right. I pray that it continues because through contentment in God I can endure anything, right? How much better used will I be if I can work anywhere under any circumstance? (believe me I want to be used in a beautiful, interesting place, but you know what i mean)

The real reason I had not posted in three months; I had no idea what was goin on.

oh blog.

2008-02-20T23:10:00.000-06:00

Alright, it has been nearly three months since my last blog. Why, you ask?

I guess I just didn't feel like it.

Plus I was busy during november and december, and so much time had passed by christmas that I figured no one would continue to check if i added any posts. Maybe I was wrong. So I've been contemplating a return to the blog...only I felt I needed to change a few things. You know how it is. So here I am under the new title, "orang peel." I like the title because it lacks any significance. Not that my posts will change in depth or significance (since I am too deep to avoid my own massively deep depth,) ( I'm kidding by the way.) (No I'm not.)

For my first post in three months I've decided to compile a list of things I've always wanted.

List of Things I've Always Wanted:
dreadlocks
a tattoo/multiple tattoos
a big beard
a motorcycle
a muscle car
a dog...i've had a few of these but i really want one again
real art in my house
personal theme music
soundtrack to life
a crazy asian friend that i can refer to as "crasian"
diabetes
that last one wasn't funny. people actually suffer from diabetes.

Ok, that's all I can think of. You probably expected super-spiritual things like the gift of prophecy or incredible exegetical skills. Maybe I'll put together my nerd seminary student list later...

It feels good to ease back into the blog. I am full of thoughts that follow themes that are far too large for me to grasp. I plan on expressing them here, yet if I were to express them now they would be half-baked at best. Maybe I'll begin tomorrow.

2007-11-04T21:31:00.000-06:00

I am vibrating from the latest cup of coffee. I heard that starbucks (yes I drink starbucks but don't worry, only their fair trade) burns their beans to release more caffeine so that their coffee is more addictive. But that makes no sense because darker roast coffees are less caffeinated than light roast due to the longer roasting process. There you go, I just slammed that hypothesis. I'm calling my mom, she's the one that insists on the sinister bean burning conspiracy. In my opinion, Starbucks just loads their coffee with twice the amount of grinds as the average coffee drinker would. Hence, the excessively bold cup of joe. Why? Who knows and who cares. if you don't like it then don't drink it. I did have possibly one of the best cups of coffee of my life this morning. It was at this little place called...i don't remember what it was called, but I had the Italian roast. After the first test sip I had no desire to use any sugar and certainly no cream. Yes, it was nearly the perfect cup and I drank it like it was going out of style. I think God is calling me to open a kick ass coffee shop somewhere surrounded by big blue mountains and crystal clear rivers. Right, God?

Enough about coffee. I just spent the last five hours working on a research paper. I'm freaking wired and the writing juices are flowing. I guess I need some recreational writing time to come down from my intellectual high. Mentally I'm done with this paper, which is unfortunate because I have about two more pages to write. I'm already excited about my NEXT research paper due in less than two weeks which I have yet to begin. Don't worry, I'll spare you the topic and details since it would probably bore a normal person.

Let's see what else...I may have decided on a church! I have attended bear creek community church the last two sundays and it just might fit. It's in the latter-middle phases of church planting. Not that I have a sound basis for that estimate, but it seems about right to me. They are a decent sized congregation at this point (40-ish?) and they're at the end of the planning phase for their building. So, plenty of opportunity to get involved, learn, and teach.

Question: Should I revert back to the green background or stick with the funky maroon/burgundy? I don't think my computer screen accurately represents colors, it's pretty old. I trust your judgment.

Ok, that is all.

buuuuurrrrnnooouuuuttt

2007-10-24T21:45:00.000-05:00

does anyone remember marvin the martian? of course you do. in my opinion he is the most underrated looney tune's antagonist. i just decided that he's my favorite all time looney tune's character. period. in fact, i'm making this very picture the background of my computer in solidarity with marvin's underdog, anti-villain persona. if there are anti-heroes then there should be anti-villains right? always striving but never quite making it. i mean, you never really wanted bugs bunny to get away from the bad guy right? we always rooted for yosemite sam or elmer fudd and even marvin the martian but bugs bunny won every time. if you ask me marvin was the most diabolical, for example, the dynamite cannon aimed at earthly destruction. how many other looney tune's villains were hell-bent on planetocide (dibs on word coinage)? i can appreciate his dedication and resolve. had he ever been to earth? actually i think he had...so obviously he had first hand experience and thus was not planning on eradicating our planet out of ignorance. so, he was educated and arguably justified in his motives. and there weren't any other martians were there? so perhaps he was the last remaining of his species. marvin was a survivor. did that deter him? no. the man possessed stones. despite the death of his fellow martian brethren he did not lose sight of the collective martian vision of terrestrial eradication, passed down through generations of martian folklore and tradition. marvin THE martian.

the last 30 sentences are the product of a fried brain.

i think i burned myself out last week. i worked pretty hard between school and landscaping to get caught up and then to get ahead, and now i just don't want to do anything. i'd rather just relax and procrastinate for a while and write dumb blogs. i haven't procrastinated at all this semsester, so i deserve a little bit right? well, honestly i can afford to relax a few nights and i'll still be right where i should be by the end of the weekend. so who cares?

there you go, i just justified blowing off school for the last three nights, hahaha. i drank too much coffee tonight too. i'm gonna be up for a while.

we have no community

2007-10-23T20:47:00.001-05:00

i don't know my neighbors.

whose fault is that? well, mine and my neighbors i suppose. i've been reflecting on my lack of community recently. the first question that may come to the minds of most evangelicals when they hear i have no community is whether i have joined a church. my reply is no, i have not joined a church because well, i'm not willing to settle. i don't know how many times in the last three months i've heard "don't look for what a church can give you, but look for what you can give to the church." and you know what that's a good point, i appreciate the anti-consumer approach as well as the jfk rip-off. but, i'm asking a further question in my search; what is this church giving to others? call me idealistic, but i want to gather together with a body of believers yearning to share all that Jesus has with a hurting world. is there not a church in fort worth built around that principle? i'm patient. i can wait until i find a church that is outwardly focused. there has to be one some where around here, right?

back to community. i am surrounded by 600,000 people and i have no community. i live in a neighborhood with hundreds of other seminary students and i have no community. my neighbor could die tomorrow and i wouldn't find out until the next chapel service when our president asked us to pray for their family. wait, i wouldn't know then either because i don't know their names. you see, it is my fault as well as theirs. however, we are only continuing a lifestyle created before us in which we all have been raised. why else is this the case for 98% of americans? we didn't choose it and yet we choose it every day. sound familiar? we are so lonely yet we do not know love well enough to recognize our own loneliness.

i was blessed to live in a tight community last year. it had its difficulites, but rarely did i have to do anything without one of my best friends right beside me. now, i'm expected to do everything alone because i am a single male and i'm supposed to be an individual, independent from everyone. you know what, i can do it without a community around me, but my quality of life while doing it won't be the same. do you see? every day we close ourselves into our homes with our things all around us, with our tv's blaring, our computer monitors on the most recent sports page, and we live with no realization of how terribly lonely we are.

i consider myself to be a fairly healthy individual with a pretty optimistic outlook on life. i attribute these things to my parents, my extended family, and to my faith. but the majority of our society never had these three things, let alone one or two of them. i can handle being alone...i'd just rather not. i dream of life without television and the internet (ironic that i'm using it now i know, i'm not opposed to it) and without cars. in my opinion these three things have done the most to destroy any sense of community. we are sucked inside by television and the internet, while cars allow us travel across town to friends we rarely see instead of spending time with those in our more immediate circle whom we could share our lives with on a daily basis.

we could ride bicycles everywhere and we'd be healthy too.

christian scholarship...?

2007-10-18T22:15:00.000-05:00

"the matter is quite simple. the bible is very easy to understand. but we christians are a bunch of scheming swindlers. we pretend to be unable to understand it because we know very well that the minute we understand, we are obliged to act accordingly. my god, you will say, if i do that my whole life will be ruined. how would i ever get on in the world? herein lies the real place of christian scholarship. christian scholarship is the church's prodigious invention to defend itself against the bible to ensure that we can continue to be good christians without the bible coming too close. oh, priceless scholarship, what would we do without you? dreadful is it to fall into the hands of the living god. yes, it is even dreadful to be alone with the new testament."

-Soren Kierkegaard

i have to admit that to a large extent i agree. i agree despite the indictment this passage makes against the very thing i am doing with my life at this moment. i am a christian scholar in the making. now, i do not believe that the bible was written for scholars only. nor do i believe that you must understand the text in its original language to fully appreciate or know its true meaning. christian scholarship is important insofar as it holds our teachers accountable to sound biblical theology, centered around christ and authoritative as the foundation of truth. do men and women hide behind their lexicons and commentaries in lieu of service to the needy? do we spend entirely too much time in multiple bible studies when we could be out learning experientially about our faith? yes, both are unfortunate realities for many christians. so, i agree to the extent that christian scholarship may serve as an impediment to doing our faith. but i also see its purpose for the church.

i'm looking for the real deal. i'm looking for a church in fort worth not content with just showing up sunday morning and not focused on ministry to itself. i'm searching for people who give their whole lives to others, like jesus. i want to see that. so far it's been hard to come by. i'm not looking down upon the traditional ministry positions my brothers and sisters at the seminary are working towards. we need solid pastors willing to challenge their complacent bible belt church body. we need youth pastors who will show selfish and self-conscious teenagers how to look outside themselves to see who jesus really is. i just don't think my place is there, at least not right now. maybe my place is on the street with the dirty and forgotten.

did you know that since the row v. wade hearing in 1973 we have killed 50 million babies in the u.s. through abortion? bloody hands. what is this nation? who are we kidding, god bless america?? i will never sing that song again; instead while others are mindlessly singing those absurd words i'll be lifting up an intercessory prayer for the forgiveness of "the greatest nation." or maybe i should pray for a little justice?

2007-10-13T17:21:00.000-05:00

i lived on the pointy one farthest to the right.

why am i never entirely content in one place? i spent the last year in colorado, beautiful, sunny colorado where the weather is nearly always perfect even when it's raining or snowing. i was so anxious to start school in fort worth. i was anxious to finish the job there because it was hard. i was ready for civilization and "real life." what was i thinking? not that i'm disappointed about life now. i'm not, actually there are some really exciting things happening and school is great. i've met some wonderful people in fort worth and a lot of opportunities have come up to spend time with old friends. but texas is not colorado. first of all it's hot here, duh. secondly there are no mountains hence no snowboarding, ski towns, ski resorts, mountain coffee shops, or cabins with fireplaces. you can't hot tub comfortably for five months of the year in texas, and white water rafting is non-existent.

so, i don't miss the job i had and honsetly i don't miss living on the side of a mountain as beautiful as it was. i miss the accessibility to beautiful places and to the kind of recreation i enjoy.

i need to learn how to be content wherever i am though don't i?. there are redeemable aspects to living anywhere, right? maybe, haha, i don't know. perhaps you can sympathize if you spent one year living your fantasy and then you had to move back. i didn't have to by the way, i chose to. that might leave less room for me to complain. though i don't feel like i'm complaining, i'm more expressing what i've been thinking about. any advice? basically the plan is to finish out school over the next two and a half years and then move back to colorado! we'll see what God has to say about that one, eh? i guess i could be anywhere three years from now.

2007-10-06T23:41:00.000-05:00

Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? Just as it is written, 'For your sake we are being put to death all day long; we were considered as sheep to be slaughtered.' But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us."
Romans 8:35-37

"even if the enemy's foot be on your neck expect to rise again. you are more than conquerors."
-spurgeon

i'm sure you've heard these verses. just thought one more time couldn't hurt.

african music

2007-10-03T13:42:00.000-05:00

well, i've been waiting around for something interesting to happen so i could blog about it, but nothing has come up in the last few days. life is ordinary; ordinary interactions, ordinary errands, ordinariness. and that's all good, it's good to be normal every now and then, to go with the flow and all that. so i am going to write about the most interesting thing i have discovered this week...african music. ive been listening to yahoo music while i study, and they have a set of stations labeled "world music." within this set is the african music station. i highly recommend it if you're looking for a change. it plays everything from beautiful african hymns to hip hop. we white folks are pretty aware of our inherent lack of rhythm. ok, that may be a coarse generality...i have a little rhythm, but it is not as natural or intriguing as african rhythm. they lay down some amazing beats even in their hymns, and the accompanying melodies are completely different from anything american. they know how to play the blues too, dang! so, if you're bored with the indie junk you always listen to check out the african station and buy some albums. impress your friends with your broad, eclectic taste in music.

2007-09-29T23:20:00.000-05:00

i don't know what has been going on in the life of Dom lately. i mean, obviously i am a pretty intimate part of my life so i know what events are going on...but i mean spiritually, what has been happening spiritually? have i been close to the Lord or havent i? i know ive been talking and He listens, but have i been listening? have i been diligent and focused in prayer, sincere in my heart? prayer is everything, is it not? i've had tons of time to reflect and slowly put things together. not having a job has truly been a blessing, though i'm equally blessed to have gotten one recently.

Here's a small part of what goes on in Dom's head over the course of weeks:

as i've said in an earlier post, i'm not keen on the "call" or "Lord's will" lingo people tend to sling around the bible belt. i think we're all called to the same general areas of missions, discipleship, love, and obedience to the Lord. and we have certainly each been given gifts and desires for serving the Lord through one another. maybe those desires are calls on our lives, places we genuinely want to share love with others and from which the rest of our life will flow. perhaps i'm calling a shoe a sneaker, or however the saying goes. but, we scrutinize the "Lord's will for our lives" so closely sometimes that we hinder movement. there is immense freedom under the umbrella of God's will.
i think i know what needs to be done to have vision in ministry. here is my philosophy, right now; get out and serve asap anywhere, do not think about the future too intensely, do not worry about being in a conventional church ministry. i've made steps in that direction and i feel positive about it. i am thankful to the lord for seminary because it is has taught me the futility of my education without heart. i may as well have no heart if i'm not giving it away to others. what good is heart if we keep it to ourselves?

Joel 2:12-14
"Yet even now," declares the Lord, "Return to Me with all your heart, and with fasting, weeping and mourning; 13 and rend your hearts and not your garments." now return to the Lord your God, for He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in lovingkindness and relenting of evil. 14 Who knows whether He will not turn and relent and leave a blessing behind Him, even a grain offering and a drink offering for the Lord your God?

is this what we need to do for our country? should we fast, weep, mourn, and rend our hearts in prayer for ourselves and in intercession for those that do not for themselves?

2007-09-28T22:11:00.001-05:00

i started a post, and then i got side tracked. now i'm tired. why am i even bothering with this post you ask? i dont know, maybe i feel somewhat committed since the window is already open.

God of Earth and Outer Space

2007-09-27T17:14:00.000-05:00

God of earth and outer space

God of love and God of grace

Bless the astronauts who fly

As they soar beyond the sky

God who flung the stars in space,

God who sets the sun ablaze

Fling the spacecraft thro' the air

Let man know your presence there

God of atmosphere and air,

God of life and planets bare

Use man's courageand his skill

As he seeks your holy will.

God of depth and God of height

God of darkness, God of light,

As man walks in outer space

Teach him how to walk in grace

This was out of the Baptist Hymnal, page twenty, written circa 1975. I didn't have time to copy it all down, there are two more verses about God blessing the astronauts and space ships. And hey, they need blessing too right? This author was hitting an area of society that we neglect in our prayers, the space travelers. My friend Todd read this aloud to my New Testament class today for edification, haha. Seriously, this is the kind of theological joking I deal with everyday at school.

tu vuoi un cafe?

2007-09-23T21:18:00.000-05:00

Oh yes, this will be the first of many blogs on that most wondrous of all topics: COFFEE.
"Just what is it about coffee?" A question many people ask, not so much out loud but in their minds, I'm pretty sure. Well, at least people that don't already know what it is about coffee. Why does coffee provide so much comfort to those that love it? How can a single cup produce such feelings of euphoria? "You're addicted," would be the typical response, and I might agree that I am addicted. But, the word addiction implies a lack of will in being subservient to a substance. And, I may exhibit a lack of will in the sense that I need coffee to function properly, but the difference is that I want it and I like it. A lot. And as far as I'm concerned it only improves my quality of life. Enough justifying my coffee intake.

Coffee is so much more than that bitter brown liquid that makes your breath smell bad. Coffee begins with the earth and it ends with community. After Jesus, coffee just might be the answer we're looking for. There is both art and science involved in creating a good cup of coffee. If you want an absolutely unique cup of coffee, that tastes good too, you can have it and you only need creativity and a little knowledge. Now, I am not the most knowledgable coffee connousieur, however, even with an elementary level acquaintance I am able to appreciate its many dimensions.

As I said earlier, coffee begins with the earth and ends with community. Hundreds of years of tradition lie behind the growing of coffee by those native farmers. They know their land, their family has known their land for generations. Entire communities in all those beautiful parts of the world depend on the consumption of coffee. Beautiful communites, you've seen the pictures! You cannot simply grow a coffee bean in your backyard. Well, you might get lucky but it won't be great. A lot goes into a good coffee bean just as a lot goes into a good grape and a good glass of wine. Speaking of alcohol in reference to Southwestern's policy of abstinence specifically, I will quote my friend Todd, "coffee is my new beer." Indeed, coffee embodies all those vices I'd like to partake in as a true appreciater, because unlike those others it won't get me kicked out of school.

Believe me friends, I have only begun my dissertation on coffee and its magnificence. The earth is only the first of many steps towards community through coffee. Stay tuned as I attempt to unravel the transcendent qualities of the perfect cup.

By the way, I have no tv so writing has become my new outlet. A bit more constructive, no? The only issue is that it robs study time, though the study time probably needs robbing.

put up or shut up

2007-09-22T20:18:00.000-05:00

Harsh yet profound words. Put up or shut up.
The five words bouncing around inside my skull all day. No one has spoken them to me, they are my own challenge. I talk a lot, a lot of us talk a lot. We talk a lot about loving the unloved, and meeting needs, and fighting injustice. And these are all good things that need a lot of talking about. But they need more doing. So, I talk a lot. I'd like to talk less and do much much more, but here I am talking more about what I'd like to do. So I'm asking whoever reads this to hold me accountable to my words. What good are wasted words? I have sought avenues to help... some have not panned-out and some have yet to answer, so I'm not lazy. But when those which have yet to answer do answer, and perhaps if their answer is no, then will I move forward or continue to stall? And while waiting, why wait?

Last night was the fusion conference at Irving Bible Church. It is the largest church I have ever set foot in, except for Joel Osteen's, but that was when the building was still known as the Compaq center and the only worship was of the Houston Rockets. So, IBC is a big church, a nice church, an artsy church. I was a bit skeptical of the conference; I was really attending with the intention of investigating just what happens at these hip 20-something Christian shindigs.

Believe me when I tell you that I was blown away.

It is a blessing for me to see that a ministry like the fusion conference exists. It challenges the division of faith and everyday life. Fusion confronts the distraction of pop culture and mainstream consumerism, and contrasts what they offer with the needs and pain in our world. Images of pop culture were used only as far as they are relevant to calling attention to the misguidance of our generation. I feel that their method had integrity and strength. I almost got straight charismatic a few times! I wanted to shout with all my strength that these people were speaking the truth we have been thinking for so long. Amen! Knowin that this message is getting out encourages me with such hope.

After all the talking and all the music, they gave us the opportunity to act immediately. There were organizations present, both local, national, and international. Informationals were available for dozens of ministries; if a person wanted to get plugged in but didn't know how, it was provided. If anybody reads this and they aren't sure how to find organizations all they need to do is check out this website: www.rightnow.org

More to come.

Oh Gnat.

2007-09-21T12:34:00.000-05:00

oh gnat, why must you

buzz around me

as i try to read?

we could be friends

i could tell you my name

but you don't speak english

and i don't speak gnat

i would explain to you

our social norms

and our concept of

"personal space"

only if you understood me

then i would not have to

violently slam you

between my hands

trying to keep up

2007-09-19T21:34:00.000-05:00

Ever feel like you're simply trying to keep up with life? Like there are more and more heavier and heavier things being tossed at your face and you've already caught so many that your hands are full? I feel a little bit like that right now. My problem is that I keep trying to catch those things falling towards my face, without thinking to put down the less important things already in my arms.
All figures of speech aside, I need to choose more wisely where I'm spending my time and what I will hold as priorities. Ok, so school work is important but there is a point at which it is ridiculous and I'm just beating myself up over getting it all done. It doesn't ALL need to get done in reality because only so much of it actually matters. By the way, school is great and I'm really glad I'm here, despite my occasional plot to run to Colorado Springs.

I was asked to apply and interview for a youth pastor position at Trinity Hills Baptist. I've become friends with the pastor, Larry. He seems to think I can pull it off so I'm willing to entertain the idea. I was honest with him; I don't feel "called" to youth ministry. I actually don't feel "called" specifically to any ministry. I don't even know if I like using the word "called" anyways. If I am called anywhere it's simply to ministry, to pouring out Christ's love, teaching His Word out of the Bible expositionally, and just being there when I'm needed. That's what it's all about, and if I'm meant to be there for high school kids for the next three years then so be it. I can commit to that and pour myself out there. I simply desire to minister.

Wow, blogging feels a bit self centered...but I guess it is about me. Haha.

So, I'm going to a CONFERENCE this weekend. It's the FUSION CONFERENCE, and people like DONALD MILLER will be there. It should be fascinating, one of the guys speaking is an author of a book on the emergent church. I'm not terribly familiar and so I really have no opinion on the movement, so I will be fascinated listening to him. And there will be spoken word, how cool is that? I think I could get into spoken word. So I'll update you all, whoever you all is after this weekend. I've never been to a conference, apparently they're a big deal and people do it lots, especially youth groups. Guess I'll get familiar with them if I take a youth pastor role. Is that even acceptable these days? A youth pastor that has never been to a CONFERENCE! I think so, it just means I don't get caught up in them. I'm down to earth.

first of many, hopefully...

2007-09-19T00:35:00.000-05:00

Well, this is my first official blog ever. For those of you that read it, hello. This whole blogspot thing is kind of an experiment for me, we'll see if I like it and how long it lasts. I hope this becomes a place I can talk about what's going on in my head and in my heart, and what life in seminary is like. I guess I should start with tonight.

Tonight I had Bible study with a few friends down the street. They're all students at southwestern and it's led by Willis, a good friend of mine from College Station. He's the pastor of a small church in town that I will most likely be attending called Bethel, more about that later on down the line. We're studying 1 John by the way and it has proven to be pretty challenging. John gets up in your grill, and if the reader doesn't balance out some of the harsher verses with others in the text it would be easy to get carried away. Lately a theme in my circles has been salvation. Probably not a shock to many considering salvation is an important feature of the Christian faith. More specifically, what is evidence of salvation in a person's life? Can we judge the salvation of others? By the way, my answer is no, John is not telling us to do so but he is saying we should examine our own lives. These questions lead down long, winding roads only made easier by further study of other areas of scripture. My own knowledge is lacking, but I appreciate the challenge. So, that's tonight. Oh yea, I've started an accountability group with my roommate Joe and our friend Jeremy. I won't be going into details, but our focus will be growing in the word and truth towards a stronger relationship with God. It's my theory that dealing with that first and foremost will bring everything else along with it.

Alright, good first blog, I'm hitting the sack.