i wish i had a hobby

that's me, bent over, enjoying a good puke.

a few weeks ago i went mountain biking with a couple of buddies. it had been a long time since my last off-road session; in the neighborhood of nine months. it seems the seminary lifestyle does not encourage the healthy appreciation of a hobby that every man needs. add to that a new girlfriend and you may understand why my hobby time vanished, though it may have been filled with other enjoyable pursuits (such as hanging out with said girlfriend, now fiance, soon to be wife in less than two weeks.) since my engagement i dropped out of seminary, and i'm hoping to reenter on a part-time basis perhaps next fall. the last two months sans school has allowed me the free time even amidst wedding planning and various wedding showers around texas, to re-kindle a once hot hobby-affair; cycling. unfortunately the winter has been cold and wet, leaving the trails sloshy and muddy. alas, i lack a road bike, and a ride on the road is less than desirable on my single-speed beast of a mountain bike.


nevertheless, my mind, when not occupied with my fiance, the wedding, work, church, and whathaveyou, has been resting upon thoughts of that spectacularly-built, simple-machine all mankind knows and loves. i have spent hours online perusing ebay and other dozens of retail sites looking at bikes and parts. i have flipped through hundreds of pages of bicycle magazines reading article after article, trying to fill a void left by poor weather and poorer trail conditions. this time of the year is known as the "off-season" for non-winter sports. i didn't take advantage enough of the previous season so the off-season feels even longer.

my last cycling adventure was not my brightest cycling moment. that's when the delightful picture featured at the top was taken. yep, i vomited right there on the trail.

i've never been afraid of throwing up, especially while doing physically demanding activities. its always freed me up of whatever was slowing me down from the inside, and i'm usually better off for it. here's the break down; i ate pizza right before riding with a couple of guys in much better cycling shape than me. naturally, i tried to keep up. not the best scenario. the guy smiling in the forefront is my friend brent. don't let this picture fool you, the dude can ride...he has just been eating too much of his new wife's good cookin.

after finishing up the business i am proud to say that i got back on the bike with a smile and road the rest of the circuit like a champ. it wasn't the first time i've puked while mountain biking and i'm sure it won't be the last. who knows, it could be next saturday.

engagement

it has been 3 months since my last entry. a lot has happened and i have a couple finals that i should be studying for, so i thought this an opportune time to be blogospherical.

the biggest news that anyone remotely close to me should know is that i got engaged!! for the best treatment of this topic check out my fiance chelsea's blog. i cannot compete with her blog entry and so i won't give a detailed account of how and where it went down, but here's a picture.

it was wonderful and i'm super excited :)

i'd rather discuss the experience of being engaged. it's something that will only happen once in my life and so i should try to document it and enjoy it as much as possible. i say it that way because, frankly, it's difficult. my friend recently encouraged me by affirming that marriage is waaaaay better. in fact i've heard from a number of couples that their engagement was the most difficult and stressful period of their relationship. i'd say it has been that for ours, though we're making it through pretty darn well so far. after the proposal the wedding arrangements kicked into gear fast. chelsea and her mom are on top of it. seriously, they wasted no time. they're like a nascar pit crew with lug-nuts flyin everywhere and rednecks in wife-beaters eating chili-dogs in hundred degree weather. we already have the place for the wedding and reception and the invitations picked out, she has a dress and bride's maid dresses, we're making guest lists, and we registered. apparently there's still a lot more to do...i can't imagine what.



how cute is she?!

in the short time i've been engaged i've learned that it is great for several reasons:
we are learning how to plan big, important things together
we are learning patience and discipline
we are becoming "we"
people are going to buy us sweet stuff
in 3 months we'll be married

it's also hard because when you're engaged you have to drive all over to do things you would not ordinarily do. i'm not complaining because it's all good stuff and i don't hardly do the amount chelsea does. but, it demands more from the schedule. i also have to take a lot more pictures than usual. i told chelsea that each picture taken reduces my life span and that she's gonna have to deal with that someday when i die early, but she still makes me take them.

honestly, it has all been really fun. i get to hang out all the time with this great girl who will some day be my wife, and we get to plan our future. every thing we do reminds me of why i love her and why i asked her to spend the rest of her life with me. she's a sweetheart and i don't mind getting a little mushy about her.

BRINGING MAN BACK

I'm bringing man back.


there has been too much of this:(you need to enlarge the pic to gain a true appreciation.)

and this:


(this shirt is what's known as a "deep cut v-neck." apparently the original v-neck t-shirt didn't show enough of a man's delicate collar bone, thus the need for the "deep cut" version.)

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand this:


sorry, but it's lame and unmanly.
i'm afraid i don't understand the drive for a man to dress and style himself after a woman. men are not pretty, were not meant to be pretty, will never be pretty, and should not try to be pretty. we should let women wear clothes that have become the norm for them and we should stick to what we know.


so how will i bring man back?

first i'll be examining pictures like this:would robert duvall be caught dead having a beer with the any of those nerds?

how about bear grylls? does he wear chick pants?

negative, he wears man pants.

how about some grizzly adams?

the dude hung out with a bear.

what have i learned from these pictures? first, a man needs to be dirty. occasionally cleanliness is acceptable, but we shouldn't go overboard with cleaning products or good-smelly stuff. next, every day clothing should accentuate manliness, which means it should be basic and functional. facial hair, though not necessary, is clearly the direction in which to err. each of these dudes wore boots. just sayin, toms and all other shoes with wussy soles won't get you too far in the realm of manliness. lastly, no hair styling products.

my goal is to bring man back. in order to do so i will take several vows:
i vow not to shave my beard off for the entire school year unless it is into the form of other facial hair such as a mustache.
i vow not to use hair styling products such as gel or wax
i vow to wear flannel at least once a week, once i get some flannel.
i vow to wear boots twice a week.
i vow never to wear a v-neck t-shirt.
i vow only to wear pants made for men.
i vow to carry a knife in order to cut things.

the end of another summer

i'm currently sitting in my living room waiting for my roommate joshua to get off the phone with his dad so we can watch the movie "the wrestler." i've heard good things about it.

i realize its been a while since i last blogged. chelsea keeps reminding me that i haven't updated this in a few months. oh, "who is chelsea?" you must be asking yourself (though i very much doubt anyone is reading this that doesn't know about my girlfriend and favorite person on the planet, chelsea calcatera.) this summer has been one full of events, and most if not all of those events are directly resulting from one much larger event.......................chelsea dating this bum named dominick.

to briefly sum up my girlfriend to any who have not had the pleasure of her acquaintance; she is lovely.that's one of my favorite pictures.

i don't want to get all gushy on the blog, so i'm keeping it short. she's in colorado right now and i miss her like whoa.

anywho, she wants me to blog, and she's right, i need to get back on the wagon. its been a wonderful summer even though i remained in fort worth...for obvious reasons. along with chelsea there have been other really good things. for one, i am the worship leader at bethel fellowship, my odd little baptist church. i've come to love leading worship and i'm enjoying every sunday. i hope to gain more insight into what worship is about in all its facets. i truly want to learn leadership in this area; how to care for the congregation and be sensitive to their needs for worship.

this morning i met with adam crawford, worship leader for cityview church in keller, tx. cityview is a 4 yr old church plant out of the village. adam has been there as their worship leader the entire time i think. he and his wife tabor, who are both good friends with chelsea, are very talented. the dude is great. i'm encouraged in my leading at bethel after having breakfast with him. most of all i'm excited to have another good friend with the same heart for ministry.

school starts thursday, two days from now. summer has come to a close, though this is a school year i am truly looking forward to.

guilt, but at the same time, who gives a rip?

summer is here in full swing. i think it hit 85 Fahrenheit (it just took me three attempts to spell that word correctly) today. this summer i'm sticking around in fort worth, just like last summer. "but!" you ask, "didn't you stay in ftw last summer, and wasn't it the worst summer of your whole life!?" yes, i did, and yes, it was. this summer is drastically different though! first of all, i'm not working a lame-o job at school that gives me severe depression and thoughts of suicide, or at least homicide. secondly, i will be taking one summer class (that actually affects my psyche positively b/c i am not wasting my life). third, this summer i have incredible friends who like to run around outside and party. i made some amazing friends over the school year, heck yea! so, i've been hanging out, a lot. and i've been partying and playing, a lot. i almost feel guilty, but who gives a rip? i worked hard for nine stinking months and now i have six weeks to live it up. the weather has been great and i'm in the best shape i've been in in the last two years. i mean, it's not all fun and games cuz i work, about 35 hrs a week, and i'm still real involved in church. the difference however, is the lack of class work, which i've found occupies a vast amount of space-time. i've simply filled that empty space-time with fun. best idea i ever had.

so today is memorial day, no work, beautiful. i slept in, awoke, and went mtn. biking with my buddy, michael. it was great except he needs to upgrade a few key components (brakes...), and then we ate some freaking barbeque! what will i do tonight? well, maybe i'll watch a movie (i watched two yesterday b/c it was raining) or read a book (probably not) or go out (...) or get a tattoo (don't worry mom it'll have you name on it, "mom").

wanna hear what i did last week, b/c i do! monday-work, swim, hang out with friends. tuesday - work a half day, work out at rac, rock climb to exhaustion with friends. wednesday-work, no working out, church. thursday - work half day, swim, don't remember what else but it involved friends. friday - work, swim, go out for my bday with friends. the weekend has actually been keyed lower than the week. i've spent more time relaxing with myself. it has also been good.

i've been swimming a lot b/c i want to get in to swim shape for a triathlon(s). so far so good, though i doubt i'll be in shape for the xterra tri in little rock which contains an 800 yard swim component followed by a ten mile mtn bike ride and then a 5k. for reals chelsea, 800 yards?

as good as it gets.

i just realized that i need to log this moment away while it's in the present. i'm currently reaping the benefits of a great decision made yesterday. while at work, around 2:45 in the afternoon, i spontaneously decided to drive to austin for the night. after looking around i realized that if i stuck around for the next two hours at work, for one i'd be bored, and secondly i'd miss out on some ideal roadtrip weather. so i called my dad and let him know i was heading home. my sister was gonna be in town with her boyfriend tj, and they along with my mom had wanted me to come down anyways. it was a nice surprise for them when i showed up at the house that evening.

i'm currently sitting on my back porch in the shade. we've been out here all day. my dad's slow-smoking a brisket, mom's lying on the hammock, and mary k and tj are in the house making chocolate truffles. in a couple of hours two of my cousins along with their boyfriends are coming over for dinner.

the weather's perfect, breezy yet warm, the grass and the trees are a lush green, and the birds are back. i love it when the sunlight passes through the tops of the leaves, lighting them up while the foliage below remains dark and shady.

if i had stayed in ft worth i'd be at the tcu library writing a paper. it'll get done, and there will always be another paper. but moments like these only fall into place only so often.

great saturday.

sometimes i get a little bummed out. does anyone else want continual excitement, like in a movie or on a cool poster or in a great song?

i kind of just coast without becoming the person i like to imagine or leading a life that looks like the one i imagine. in my visualization i'm a lot cooler. well, i dress a lot cooler. and i hang out in cool places and only ride my bicycle around. i also have a fun job that is both hip and important. my home is well-lit by natural sunlight and i have a great sound system complete with a turntable/cassette player. basically, i would live in my friend travis's house in austin, if you've ever been there.

additionally, i write music and great short stories. occasionally i play in coffee shops, but mostly the songs are for me.

i suppose those things are all very shallow. i'm told they are. we're supposed to mortify the flesh or something. we're shooting for loftier things like godliness and service. i love those things, but i'm not sure it always has to be at the expense of...life.

i don't mind denying myself when it's necessary, but sometimes some of the things i feel compelled to deny don't seem necessary. these things feel like a natural part of me. i naturally want to be in certain places and to do certain things that are well-lit by natural sunlight. i also really want to ride my bike every where with people who also enjoy riding their bikes when possible. simple, i know, but it means something to me. maybe i'm a bad christian and seminary student. maybe i'm immature. maybe i'm bad at this whole self-denial thing. maybe i'm selfish.

or maybe i'm unhealthy for not expressing these things and thinking that i have to smother them.