fort worth...keeping it...real??

guys, fort worth is keeping it real

i recently discovered that we have a cumulative 60 miles of bike routes, with 240 more miles in the works. that's right, the city i thought was so outdated and behind the times is actually thinking in a forward fashion. i'm a little more inclined to enjoy my time here.

i won't bore you with too many details of the bike routes, but basically they share road space with cars on low traffic, low speed roads. it's now safer for me to cruise to the better areas of town on my very fashionable, healthy, and environmentally friendly monocog 29er. apparently streets are marked with signs designating them as bike routes, though i somewhat doubt the sign's effectiveness since i was entirely unaware of their existence until i actively searched the web. regardless, i feel a bit more justified cruising on the road by simply knowing they're there.

the impetus to my search and subsequent discovery was the motivation to start a bike lane/route initiative in this crazy town if no one else had. thankfully, someone else had.

my only hitch is fear. yes, fear is keeping me from diving headlong into bike-commuting bliss. i fear pitbulls; running around, free to roam to bite your leg off, pitbulls. for some reason folks in surrounding neighborhoods have no ethical qualms with letting their pitbulls run freely through the streets. i don't care what you say about the nature of pitbulls, i've been around several and they're all a little nuts. i can just imagine riding by the wrong one, being chased by it until i top out and am finally bitten right on the bum. oh, but if were to end with a mere bite on the backside i wouldn't be so cautious! no, those dogs don't let go once they get a hold of you, they don't understand catch and release, and they're incredibly strong. explosive strength. have you seen the size of their necks??
when i do finally man up i may cruise with a can of mace, or a black market police issue tazer. you know, the kind that can incapacitate a navy seal at 30 feet. my uncle's a cop so...i'm gonna try to get one. i promise to test it on my friends before i tag any wayward animals just to know that it works.