i wish i had a hobby

that's me, bent over, enjoying a good puke.

a few weeks ago i went mountain biking with a couple of buddies. it had been a long time since my last off-road session; in the neighborhood of nine months. it seems the seminary lifestyle does not encourage the healthy appreciation of a hobby that every man needs. add to that a new girlfriend and you may understand why my hobby time vanished, though it may have been filled with other enjoyable pursuits (such as hanging out with said girlfriend, now fiance, soon to be wife in less than two weeks.) since my engagement i dropped out of seminary, and i'm hoping to reenter on a part-time basis perhaps next fall. the last two months sans school has allowed me the free time even amidst wedding planning and various wedding showers around texas, to re-kindle a once hot hobby-affair; cycling. unfortunately the winter has been cold and wet, leaving the trails sloshy and muddy. alas, i lack a road bike, and a ride on the road is less than desirable on my single-speed beast of a mountain bike.


nevertheless, my mind, when not occupied with my fiance, the wedding, work, church, and whathaveyou, has been resting upon thoughts of that spectacularly-built, simple-machine all mankind knows and loves. i have spent hours online perusing ebay and other dozens of retail sites looking at bikes and parts. i have flipped through hundreds of pages of bicycle magazines reading article after article, trying to fill a void left by poor weather and poorer trail conditions. this time of the year is known as the "off-season" for non-winter sports. i didn't take advantage enough of the previous season so the off-season feels even longer.

my last cycling adventure was not my brightest cycling moment. that's when the delightful picture featured at the top was taken. yep, i vomited right there on the trail.

i've never been afraid of throwing up, especially while doing physically demanding activities. its always freed me up of whatever was slowing me down from the inside, and i'm usually better off for it. here's the break down; i ate pizza right before riding with a couple of guys in much better cycling shape than me. naturally, i tried to keep up. not the best scenario. the guy smiling in the forefront is my friend brent. don't let this picture fool you, the dude can ride...he has just been eating too much of his new wife's good cookin.

after finishing up the business i am proud to say that i got back on the bike with a smile and road the rest of the circuit like a champ. it wasn't the first time i've puked while mountain biking and i'm sure it won't be the last. who knows, it could be next saturday.

engagement

it has been 3 months since my last entry. a lot has happened and i have a couple finals that i should be studying for, so i thought this an opportune time to be blogospherical.

the biggest news that anyone remotely close to me should know is that i got engaged!! for the best treatment of this topic check out my fiance chelsea's blog. i cannot compete with her blog entry and so i won't give a detailed account of how and where it went down, but here's a picture.

it was wonderful and i'm super excited :)

i'd rather discuss the experience of being engaged. it's something that will only happen once in my life and so i should try to document it and enjoy it as much as possible. i say it that way because, frankly, it's difficult. my friend recently encouraged me by affirming that marriage is waaaaay better. in fact i've heard from a number of couples that their engagement was the most difficult and stressful period of their relationship. i'd say it has been that for ours, though we're making it through pretty darn well so far. after the proposal the wedding arrangements kicked into gear fast. chelsea and her mom are on top of it. seriously, they wasted no time. they're like a nascar pit crew with lug-nuts flyin everywhere and rednecks in wife-beaters eating chili-dogs in hundred degree weather. we already have the place for the wedding and reception and the invitations picked out, she has a dress and bride's maid dresses, we're making guest lists, and we registered. apparently there's still a lot more to do...i can't imagine what.



how cute is she?!

in the short time i've been engaged i've learned that it is great for several reasons:
we are learning how to plan big, important things together
we are learning patience and discipline
we are becoming "we"
people are going to buy us sweet stuff
in 3 months we'll be married

it's also hard because when you're engaged you have to drive all over to do things you would not ordinarily do. i'm not complaining because it's all good stuff and i don't hardly do the amount chelsea does. but, it demands more from the schedule. i also have to take a lot more pictures than usual. i told chelsea that each picture taken reduces my life span and that she's gonna have to deal with that someday when i die early, but she still makes me take them.

honestly, it has all been really fun. i get to hang out all the time with this great girl who will some day be my wife, and we get to plan our future. every thing we do reminds me of why i love her and why i asked her to spend the rest of her life with me. she's a sweetheart and i don't mind getting a little mushy about her.

BRINGING MAN BACK

I'm bringing man back.


there has been too much of this:(you need to enlarge the pic to gain a true appreciation.)

and this:


(this shirt is what's known as a "deep cut v-neck." apparently the original v-neck t-shirt didn't show enough of a man's delicate collar bone, thus the need for the "deep cut" version.)

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand this:


sorry, but it's lame and unmanly.
i'm afraid i don't understand the drive for a man to dress and style himself after a woman. men are not pretty, were not meant to be pretty, will never be pretty, and should not try to be pretty. we should let women wear clothes that have become the norm for them and we should stick to what we know.


so how will i bring man back?

first i'll be examining pictures like this:would robert duvall be caught dead having a beer with the any of those nerds?

how about bear grylls? does he wear chick pants?

negative, he wears man pants.

how about some grizzly adams?

the dude hung out with a bear.

what have i learned from these pictures? first, a man needs to be dirty. occasionally cleanliness is acceptable, but we shouldn't go overboard with cleaning products or good-smelly stuff. next, every day clothing should accentuate manliness, which means it should be basic and functional. facial hair, though not necessary, is clearly the direction in which to err. each of these dudes wore boots. just sayin, toms and all other shoes with wussy soles won't get you too far in the realm of manliness. lastly, no hair styling products.

my goal is to bring man back. in order to do so i will take several vows:
i vow not to shave my beard off for the entire school year unless it is into the form of other facial hair such as a mustache.
i vow not to use hair styling products such as gel or wax
i vow to wear flannel at least once a week, once i get some flannel.
i vow to wear boots twice a week.
i vow never to wear a v-neck t-shirt.
i vow only to wear pants made for men.
i vow to carry a knife in order to cut things.

the end of another summer

i'm currently sitting in my living room waiting for my roommate joshua to get off the phone with his dad so we can watch the movie "the wrestler." i've heard good things about it.

i realize its been a while since i last blogged. chelsea keeps reminding me that i haven't updated this in a few months. oh, "who is chelsea?" you must be asking yourself (though i very much doubt anyone is reading this that doesn't know about my girlfriend and favorite person on the planet, chelsea calcatera.) this summer has been one full of events, and most if not all of those events are directly resulting from one much larger event.......................chelsea dating this bum named dominick.

to briefly sum up my girlfriend to any who have not had the pleasure of her acquaintance; she is lovely.that's one of my favorite pictures.

i don't want to get all gushy on the blog, so i'm keeping it short. she's in colorado right now and i miss her like whoa.

anywho, she wants me to blog, and she's right, i need to get back on the wagon. its been a wonderful summer even though i remained in fort worth...for obvious reasons. along with chelsea there have been other really good things. for one, i am the worship leader at bethel fellowship, my odd little baptist church. i've come to love leading worship and i'm enjoying every sunday. i hope to gain more insight into what worship is about in all its facets. i truly want to learn leadership in this area; how to care for the congregation and be sensitive to their needs for worship.

this morning i met with adam crawford, worship leader for cityview church in keller, tx. cityview is a 4 yr old church plant out of the village. adam has been there as their worship leader the entire time i think. he and his wife tabor, who are both good friends with chelsea, are very talented. the dude is great. i'm encouraged in my leading at bethel after having breakfast with him. most of all i'm excited to have another good friend with the same heart for ministry.

school starts thursday, two days from now. summer has come to a close, though this is a school year i am truly looking forward to.

guilt, but at the same time, who gives a rip?

summer is here in full swing. i think it hit 85 Fahrenheit (it just took me three attempts to spell that word correctly) today. this summer i'm sticking around in fort worth, just like last summer. "but!" you ask, "didn't you stay in ftw last summer, and wasn't it the worst summer of your whole life!?" yes, i did, and yes, it was. this summer is drastically different though! first of all, i'm not working a lame-o job at school that gives me severe depression and thoughts of suicide, or at least homicide. secondly, i will be taking one summer class (that actually affects my psyche positively b/c i am not wasting my life). third, this summer i have incredible friends who like to run around outside and party. i made some amazing friends over the school year, heck yea! so, i've been hanging out, a lot. and i've been partying and playing, a lot. i almost feel guilty, but who gives a rip? i worked hard for nine stinking months and now i have six weeks to live it up. the weather has been great and i'm in the best shape i've been in in the last two years. i mean, it's not all fun and games cuz i work, about 35 hrs a week, and i'm still real involved in church. the difference however, is the lack of class work, which i've found occupies a vast amount of space-time. i've simply filled that empty space-time with fun. best idea i ever had.

so today is memorial day, no work, beautiful. i slept in, awoke, and went mtn. biking with my buddy, michael. it was great except he needs to upgrade a few key components (brakes...), and then we ate some freaking barbeque! what will i do tonight? well, maybe i'll watch a movie (i watched two yesterday b/c it was raining) or read a book (probably not) or go out (...) or get a tattoo (don't worry mom it'll have you name on it, "mom").

wanna hear what i did last week, b/c i do! monday-work, swim, hang out with friends. tuesday - work a half day, work out at rac, rock climb to exhaustion with friends. wednesday-work, no working out, church. thursday - work half day, swim, don't remember what else but it involved friends. friday - work, swim, go out for my bday with friends. the weekend has actually been keyed lower than the week. i've spent more time relaxing with myself. it has also been good.

i've been swimming a lot b/c i want to get in to swim shape for a triathlon(s). so far so good, though i doubt i'll be in shape for the xterra tri in little rock which contains an 800 yard swim component followed by a ten mile mtn bike ride and then a 5k. for reals chelsea, 800 yards?

as good as it gets.

i just realized that i need to log this moment away while it's in the present. i'm currently reaping the benefits of a great decision made yesterday. while at work, around 2:45 in the afternoon, i spontaneously decided to drive to austin for the night. after looking around i realized that if i stuck around for the next two hours at work, for one i'd be bored, and secondly i'd miss out on some ideal roadtrip weather. so i called my dad and let him know i was heading home. my sister was gonna be in town with her boyfriend tj, and they along with my mom had wanted me to come down anyways. it was a nice surprise for them when i showed up at the house that evening.

i'm currently sitting on my back porch in the shade. we've been out here all day. my dad's slow-smoking a brisket, mom's lying on the hammock, and mary k and tj are in the house making chocolate truffles. in a couple of hours two of my cousins along with their boyfriends are coming over for dinner.

the weather's perfect, breezy yet warm, the grass and the trees are a lush green, and the birds are back. i love it when the sunlight passes through the tops of the leaves, lighting them up while the foliage below remains dark and shady.

if i had stayed in ft worth i'd be at the tcu library writing a paper. it'll get done, and there will always be another paper. but moments like these only fall into place only so often.

great saturday.

sometimes i get a little bummed out. does anyone else want continual excitement, like in a movie or on a cool poster or in a great song?

i kind of just coast without becoming the person i like to imagine or leading a life that looks like the one i imagine. in my visualization i'm a lot cooler. well, i dress a lot cooler. and i hang out in cool places and only ride my bicycle around. i also have a fun job that is both hip and important. my home is well-lit by natural sunlight and i have a great sound system complete with a turntable/cassette player. basically, i would live in my friend travis's house in austin, if you've ever been there.

additionally, i write music and great short stories. occasionally i play in coffee shops, but mostly the songs are for me.

i suppose those things are all very shallow. i'm told they are. we're supposed to mortify the flesh or something. we're shooting for loftier things like godliness and service. i love those things, but i'm not sure it always has to be at the expense of...life.

i don't mind denying myself when it's necessary, but sometimes some of the things i feel compelled to deny don't seem necessary. these things feel like a natural part of me. i naturally want to be in certain places and to do certain things that are well-lit by natural sunlight. i also really want to ride my bike every where with people who also enjoy riding their bikes when possible. simple, i know, but it means something to me. maybe i'm a bad christian and seminary student. maybe i'm immature. maybe i'm bad at this whole self-denial thing. maybe i'm selfish.

or maybe i'm unhealthy for not expressing these things and thinking that i have to smother them.

what if every person decided to stop.

to stop measuring one another.
to stop measuring themselves against their own silly ideas.

to stop making mirrors. let the pond be your cloudy mirror. we weren't meant to see ourselves so clearly and with such criticism.


God is there and big. He is much lovelier; beyond the immediate, imposing surroundings that temporarily confound our vision



"i again saw under the sun that the race is not to the swift and the battle is not to the warriors, and neither is bread to the wise nor wealth to the discerning nor favor to men of ability; for time and chance overtake them all."

men don't want to know God as He is, but as they want Him to be

another one about fort worth

what? i kind of live here now. i take the city that i live in very seriously.

in this post i'm complaining so bear with me.

everyone who knows me moderately well knows that i appreciate a good cup of coffee. they may also know that i thoroughly enjoy and spend most of my time in good coffee shops, or at least i do when they're present. you see my friends, in the last year three of fort worth's four independently owned coffee shops closed down. we very recently lost the best of them all, eurotazza. i didn't get to enjoy eurotazza as much as i would have liked because it was too far away for even a weekly visit. the only coffee shop other than starbucks still open is four star coffee bar located downtown. again, the location is the obstacle to my enjoyment. there's no way i'm cruising downtown just for a coffee shop every week. it's not even that nice.

for the sake of comparison i counted the number of indie coffee shops in austin and it numbered around forty (there could be more because i kinda gave up counting.) there is one in fort worth, which is a city of over 700,000 people mind you. college station has at least four that i can think of off the top of my head. so, college station has 400% more indie coffe shops that ftw at least, and austin has 4000% more. i think that's right, i'm no elementary mathemetician.

this is upsetting to me. there are seven starbucks in my local area. that there are nearly no non-corporate coffee shops in the city of fort worth while there are 10 starbucks tells me this; the people in this town drink coffee but they have no understanding of the value of the local coffee shop. they don't get it. i have observed that fort worth in general is relatively void of any locally owned businesses. where is the creativity? where is the challenge or initiative? where is the pride in one's place of residence? the city of austin however, time and time again asserts that they do their business their way. there's little desire for the manufactured, packaged, mass-marketed comfort of the universal product or storefront. the locals do it best for the locals. pride, creativity, authenticity, entrepreneurship.

i'm not anti-corporation. i'm sitting in a starbucks right now (obviously i have no choice,) i bought my shirt at old navy, and my hoodie at target. i'm fairly corporate. i am wearing simple brand shoes though. i can appreciate a capitalist economy in which the more succesful business is able to produce the product more efficiently and sell it cheaper than the next guy. this is bigger than the large-box corporations though. this is dependent upon the local consumer. this is a state of mind prevalent within a large population. it scares me. does anybody else care?? and i can't recommend that anyone else try to open a coffee shop or any other small business because it probably will not be sustained by local consumers. small business is not viable in fort worth.

this is obviously not just about coffee shops. to me the coffee shop crisis is indicative of much more. it represents a state of mind.

fort worth for the long haul?

maybe, maybe not.

let's just all agree that the lord is crazy and beautiful. both. i'll tell you why i believe such a statement. the last nine months have been very literally, a roller coaster of emotions. in relation to past experience with my own emotions i would say this most recent roller coaster-ing makes those of the past look like the 25 cent airplane ride outside the grocery store. this one was big. based on that comparison, those of you who spent time with me over the last nine months might wonder if i typically express any emotion at all. i probably seemed pretty normal and chill. i was pretty chill for the most part, but it was in my alone time that the ride was most intense.

my greatest struggle has been over whether or not i should remain in fort worth. i've blogged about it in the past. basically, this city has been wretched and repugnant to me since the moment i crossed into its limits. it is not attractive and it seems to lack any character whatsoever. i moved from the mountainous wilderness in colorado to a tiny house in the bario with a steel plant for a backyard. add to that a truly abrasive, christian, academic atmosphere and you have a recipe for...hell? or growth (by the way, it's not all unattractive and it doesn't entirely lack character.)

i'll refrain from too many of the cliche's (refiner's fire, etc.). it does seem that we grow the most through adversity. ironically, the lord tends to move us exactly where we don't want to be. why? well, in my case it is so that i look no where but to Him. so that i find no contentment anywhere but in Him. if i can be content in fort worth, i've gone a long way towards that goal. there's more to it than that, but that is my ultimate lesson over the last nine months.

so...what exactly is keeping me? it seems that as i have realized more and more my freedom to leave, the lord has given me more and more reason to stay. my freedom has changed from freedom to leave, to freedom to remain. i am at peace with this. it has everything to do with my church. i know that no where else will i have the opportunity to do what i am doing in such a significant way. i am a part of something much greater than i realize and if i were to leave then i would lose this amazing opportunity. i am searching for church with people who are also truly searching for church, in the context of a ministry that is so needed and yet so neglected by the church as a whole. epic. my friends, this, this is epic.

eat your cat

i ate lunch today with my good friends, brent and jacob. we went to italian cafe, home of the daily three dollar bottomless pasta dish. delicious and endless. among other things we discussed the current moral, philosophical, political, and religious state of our nation. as you can imagine the conversation quickly turned negative, then pessimistic, and then apocalyptic. in the midst of our less than cheerful observations i shared my realization of the fact that should the city structure fail on a national level, i could hardly provide for myself. allow me to explain what i mean by that. first, have you ever sat back and considered the amount of infrastructure it takes to support the city? if not, simply think of the amount we rely on basic transportation and technology for day to day living. we don't grow our own food, we have it shipped into stores. we organize our lives via computers and cell phones. our homes rely on electricity and natural gas for cooking the food we eat and heating the rooms we live in. i'm just saying that if these aspects of city living were somehow hindered we would be in rough shape. imagine millions of people in need of food and water with no way of providing for themselves.

my solution in such a dire and fictitious situation would be to make a run for the country-side. i could live off the land, kill wild animals and eat wild herbs. unfortunately, i know next to nothing about survival and i'm a pretty poor hunter/fisherman, despite the number of man vs. wild episodes i've watched. in reality i could hardly provide for myself and i'd end up a sad, emaciated human being.

as i shared my lack of survival skills with my friends the answer dawned on me; domestic animals! i could survive by eating domestic animals, or at least feral, typically domesticated animals, like stray cats. my friends thought that under such circumstances that would be a great idea. my break through led us to the logical conclusion that good citizens should no longer spay or neuter their animals, but they should let them breed so that under such dire, fictitious circumstances we could eat them. so, i'm gonna make a bumper sticker that says, "don't spay or neuter your cat, just eat it."

fort worth...keeping it...real??

guys, fort worth is keeping it real

i recently discovered that we have a cumulative 60 miles of bike routes, with 240 more miles in the works. that's right, the city i thought was so outdated and behind the times is actually thinking in a forward fashion. i'm a little more inclined to enjoy my time here.

i won't bore you with too many details of the bike routes, but basically they share road space with cars on low traffic, low speed roads. it's now safer for me to cruise to the better areas of town on my very fashionable, healthy, and environmentally friendly monocog 29er. apparently streets are marked with signs designating them as bike routes, though i somewhat doubt the sign's effectiveness since i was entirely unaware of their existence until i actively searched the web. regardless, i feel a bit more justified cruising on the road by simply knowing they're there.

the impetus to my search and subsequent discovery was the motivation to start a bike lane/route initiative in this crazy town if no one else had. thankfully, someone else had.

my only hitch is fear. yes, fear is keeping me from diving headlong into bike-commuting bliss. i fear pitbulls; running around, free to roam to bite your leg off, pitbulls. for some reason folks in surrounding neighborhoods have no ethical qualms with letting their pitbulls run freely through the streets. i don't care what you say about the nature of pitbulls, i've been around several and they're all a little nuts. i can just imagine riding by the wrong one, being chased by it until i top out and am finally bitten right on the bum. oh, but if were to end with a mere bite on the backside i wouldn't be so cautious! no, those dogs don't let go once they get a hold of you, they don't understand catch and release, and they're incredibly strong. explosive strength. have you seen the size of their necks??
when i do finally man up i may cruise with a can of mace, or a black market police issue tazer. you know, the kind that can incapacitate a navy seal at 30 feet. my uncle's a cop so...i'm gonna try to get one. i promise to test it on my friends before i tag any wayward animals just to know that it works.

christmas shopping

it took me three hours of serious shopping to buy two of my family members gifts. three. hours. of walking and driving and searching.

christmas.

what the heck.

intellectual faith

a few months ago i had a rather heated debate with a friend over the usefulness of theology. over the course of the few days we hung out she made repeated jabs at seminaries, and specifically at theological studies. to be honest, i was the heated one. i finally had enough and became defensive, myself being a seminary student and an aspiring recreational theologian. my issue was not so much the personal implications of her attack as it was the practical.

the "evangelical" church is, for the most part, an anti-intellectual society. that is to say, it does not appreciate a biblical education or personal, disciplined, academic study of either the bible or extra-biblical subjects. it does not understand the need to rationally defend faith against the philosophies of humanism and scientism.
there are several reasons for such sentiments which i don't plan to list comprehensively. i will simply state that it has been a growing problem over the last century, resulting in the loss of the voice of the church in the public square; academia, the media, and politics. our voice has been lost because we cannot intelligently articulate a defense for our beliefs or create arguments against opposing beliefs. This has resulted in a divide between what is secular and what is sacred both inside and outside of the church. This division places what is sacred, what is of faith, on a level much lower than what is secular, undermining the defense of any guiding morality in society. due to the church's inability to affect the culture it is now affected by the culture, thus faith has been privatized and undervalued in minds of believers.

certainly, people could possibly get caught up in study and become irrelevant to the needs of society. i'm not arguing that any should go to such extremes with their education. however, we have most definitely become irrelevant by our neglect of academic study to improve our faith. doctrine without faith will be useless and faith without doctrine will be misguided. what i would like to see is the encouragement of a well-rounded faith, which includes studying a variety of topics from the perspective of a christian worldview in the midst of biblical study. the average lay-person does not necessarily need to attend a seminary, but a pastor does.
furthermore, doctrine should not be a bad word, and it should not be thought to be boring. doctrine is the result of passionate study of God's Word in order to understand His will for His church. we learn from the bible to understand the means by which we may please Him. everyone lives by doctrine without realizing it, so we should do our best to live by the right doctrine. and who better to direct us than the one or ones (ideally) who have spent the time studying God's Word truly?

ekklesia = gathering

this is where i flesh out the frame of an idea that has been slowly growing in my mind. i have found that my mind is like a crock-pot. here is part of the result of weeks of cooking.

my favorite way to begin a discussion is with a question. what is church, truly?
there are two senses in which church is discussed, one being an idea of the "universal church", and the the other is the local church. the idea of the universal church is the collection of believers past, present, and future, here in this time and outside of this time. i attribute this idea to the whole of the body of christ. i believe it is the kingdom of Christ. the local church is that much smaller, immediate gathering to which you belong, or which you attend, if you do either. i use the word "gathering" here for a reason. not to get too technical but the term used by paul specifically, and by the n.t. as a whole is ekklesia which more truly could be translated as "gathering." i could get into a discussion over its etymology but that would be boring. so, gathering of fellow believers should suffice as a whole definition. the term "church" was adopted later to describe a christian gathering. i doubt i need to remind you that a church is not the building.
i'm digging into this concept of a gathering because i believe that's what a church is simply meant to be. a local church simply is a local gathering of God's children together. there are many purposes for gathering together; worship, education, fellowship, love, support, guidance, etc. when i use the terms "simple church" or "church simply" i mean a church bent on these purposes and nothing more.
when i consider many of the churches i've encountered and conclude upon their apparent understanding of the church's function, i have to imagine that they have lost the original intent for the church. i am living in the heart of the southern baptist belt. some may also argue i'm living in the heart of the bible belt. i'm less inclined to agree with that, nevertheless i have tons of churches to choose from. what applies to southern baptists probably also applies to non-denominational churches, presbyterian, methodist, etc. when i consider these churches the first thing i notice is their building. many of them are enormous probably because a bunch of people attend them. they also have a multitude of programs such as youth group, men's group, women's group, nursery, this bible study, that bible study, vbs, sunday school, etc. none of these things are wrong per se, but my question is whether or not these things are attempting to fill a void, and if so what should fit properly in the place of that void?
basically, i think we neglect true community and attempt to fill it in with all these silly programs.
instead of valuing the church for what it is designed to be simply, and loving it for that reason, we create large organizations that look good and make us feel good though in turn they do not function as they should. church simply, requires a vision for God.
a simple church is nothing more than the gathering of fellow believers together to worship God, to make God known, and to learn to love each other. in this context everything is covered, discipleship, teaching, you name it. these things are most fully experienced in tight community. tight community is best facilitated in a local area where individuals have the ability to see each other on a daily basis and to do life together. in acts chapter 20: 17-32 paul calls to himself the elders from the church at ephesus. in these verses he outlines his ministry in ephesus and the relationship he had with those gathering together. we see that in three years time he created a community of believers, taught them, and discipled them to the point that he could leave them to fend for themselves against the "savage wolves" which would come in amongst them. he says that, "i was with you the whole time...teaching you publicly and from house to house." he was with them in sickness and in tears, in good times and bad. he was married to them! none of this driving 25 + minutes to church every week. a commuter community can not flourish. paul did life with these people and in that context he raised an strong, tight community of christians.
i also believe evangelism is best performed when faith is lived day in and day out in the eyes of non-believers. how effective would a tight community of believers be growing together in love everyday before those in their local area who have no hope? yes, it would be messy but messiness would only speak of authenticity and humanity in light of grace. i believe we avoid this concept of church because it would be messy. who are we to hide our messiness behind the walls of big buildings?
in order to succesfully create this simple, tight church gathering we would need to cast off a lot of pride and most of our concept of church. the pastor of this gathering would have to "settle" for service away from the spotlight. he may never get paid. he may never have a flock over 30, which may be advantageous if he never gets paid. maybe they never move into a building but remain in a home for their gatherings. i would argue that if such a community with such a vision is to exist its numbers must be limited (maybe not as low as 30) to encourage the maximum bond between members. when the numbers consistently exceed that capacity then another gathering should be created. this would not necessarily be a problem if discipleship and clear teaching are emphasized from the beginning. in this way a network of simple, tight churches could be created, and perhaps occasionally there could be a larger gathering of communities to worship and fellowship. i don't see why missions or anything else should be neglected by such a model.
let's let go of those things that hinder our growth together in Christ! let's let go of our pride and our fear!

random statements

that last blog about truth or agenda made no sense.

i would like to own a dog and name him snuffleupagus but call him "gus" for short.

vespa scooters are the only vehicles that make sense.

i partially take that last statement back because bicycles also make sense.

in heaven we will get to know everybody as well as they can possibly be known because we will simply have the time.

i would look really good on a vespa scooter.

bad music is immoral.

i hope i'm not immoral when i play the guitar.

dishwashers are awesome and you people who have them don't truly appreciate them.

my bathroom faucet leaks.

if you want an outdoorsey feel at home just sleep in your sleeping bag.

i am still accepting applications for a scholarship wife.

a scholarship wife is defined as the following: attractive woman willing to marry me and work to put me through school.

apparently i resemble michael scott from the office.

tomorrow i will make a sling david and goliath style.

truth or agenda?

i am caught somewhere between trying to figure out what is correct and what needs to be correct. is this essential? yes. and is this essential? maybe not. does this action have everlasting consequences? if not is that reason enough to justify it? are there any actions that do not have everlasting consequences? what is truth and what is an agenda?

it is easier to deal in black and white.

i understand that we try our best to make things black and white, but things aren't always so clear and perhaps it's unfair to make them submit to our will. can we cast a verdict upon things that are not clear with such certainty? are we meant to? what do we miss out on when we err one way or another?

there are universal essentials no doubt, i believe that as much as anyone. though there are also essentials for you that are non-essential for me. in my opinion these are two valid statements that do not contradict each other.

thankfully the univeral essentials are clear. so should we try to universalize the unclear personal essentials? again, where is the line between truth and agenda?

scandalous

it's late and i need to be up early tomorrow, but i haven't posted in a month and a half.

i've been learning a lot lately. i'd say i have learned more in the last two months than the average person learns in a span of two months. take that, average people! i doubt you would truly care to hear about my specific learnings...actually, you would probably learn that i tend to learn things later than most that is, if i were to enumerate my recent learnings. i feel that most people already know what i know, and if they don't then they should. wait, that's not true. my learnings are on a much deeper level than the average person. i'm not saying i'm better than average, i'm just deeper than average, which, depending upon the reader, might also mean i'm better than average. see, i allow for a sliver of relativism in my daily life, so i'm also open-minded. unless you're wrong. now that i've genuinely insulted most people i will get down to business.

i've been having a good time lately. you're probably wondering, "how in the world has dominick been having a good time lately, i was under the impression that he complains about everything?" and to that i would retort with, "tisk, tisk." the first tisk would answer that yes, it probably does seem like i complain about everything, and the second tisk would serve to explain that i have been breaking every illegitimate rule set forth by the local religious sects (in the name of Jesus of course) and have found that i actually enjoy life more for it. listen, there are certain things of paramount importance to the christian faith. there are things indispensable to the effective witness of God's word, and then there are things superfluous and restricting. these extra things are added by man to serve man's purpose in what they perceive as godliness. this godliness, let's call it false-godliness, was not in fact dictated by God in His scripture. this false-godliness has been fabricated by a culture of christianity to create a facade of piety. there are things which are down right negative to the kingdom of God as dictated by God, and then there are things negative towards the kingdom of man as dictated by man. i will simply give the example of dancing. in the circles in which i run (not by choice; more by simple association) dancing was and still is to an extent looked down upon. dancing!? can you already see the argument against dancing?? that some use dancing to insinuate lewd behavior...to hint of acts that are immoral. this fact leads many to the reactionary response of eliminating dancing from the list of appropriate christian behavior and placing it on the much longer list of shameful, worldly behavior. let me insist that reactionary responses to anything are almost never okay. all things may be and usually are perverted. this does not mean that we eliminate them in their entirety. we must weigh them out and discern whether and how they should be reclaimed for Christ. dancing is one of those activities that should be reclaimed for Christ. we should enjoy dancing because it was created for us to enjoy in the Lord and with each other. scandalous!! i am not nearly at the end of my argument against reactionary responses governing Christian behavior, but allow me to finish this segment by encouraging us to closely evaluate with the bible, all the rules or guidelines we have created. evaluate everything you have been taught by this standard. examine your closest assumption, even the most obvious "fact." from there, with scripture as your guide, move toward the necessities. you will probably find that a lot of what you have been taught is very good. but i'm sure there is some of what you are taught that serves not God but man's created agenda. i find the process liberating.

good night.

summer

summers should feel satisfyingly short. typically they do. typically by the end i look back wondering where it all went and though disappointed for a moment i realize that a short summer means it was a good summer. this summer has been arduous and long. is this what adult summers feel like? not summer? i must admit; this summer has been long. have i said that? contrary to what its relative length might infer, it has not been bad. actually it has probably been one of my best summers though it was completed with less ease or grace than any other. i suspect i may be near one of those moments of epiphany that come at the end of a difficult time. then again my sensing an epiphany might very well mean one is certainly not around the corner. suffice it to say that i feel like i've gotten somewhere, with or without an epiphany.