wrecked

i have been a wreck lately. am i allowed to blog about that kind of thing; that i've been a wreck lately?

for the life of me i have no idea what has been going on. i have never been so focused and yet absolutely broken down. i feel like i've been hammered from all sides though i still stand sustained. i am not enduring a dire circumstantial difficulty and i am not up against any real hardship, i simply think God has been taking me through some intense stuff over the last few weeks. what exactly he has been teaching me i do not know. i do feel that through all this i can say with confidence that my faith is my own and that my convictions are also distinctively mine. no one has convinced me through ethical or emotional appeals of what needs doing. God brought me to these realizations in His way.

i think i will plant churches. i am motivated by the undeniable misguidance and misplaced priorities in the average american church. am i saying i won't travel abroad for long-term missions? maybe.

i believe i have very legitimate reasons for staying here for the gospel. so far i've counted 260 million of them.

who knows what the next two years will bring, but at the moment i am led to plant churches in the US.

don't worry, i'll leave the bible belt. did you know that seattle is considered an unreached people group by the north american mission board?

can you swallow that?

i know i can't.

i can not.

america is not friendly towards the truth.

will i be persecuted physically working in america? maybe...probably not. does that mean a life of ministry in the US will be just peachy? i'm not convinced.

i am wrecked by these things. they have been a great inspiration.

thanks for listening, friends.