coloradoan education

i learned many things about my self in colorado last week, many of which i am still learning that i learned. the most prominent thing i learned is that i am extremely social and i benefit more from meaningful social interaction than alone wilderness time. i dream of being a mountain man, but meaningful connection heals me quicker than being outdoors alone. i wasn't even alone, i was with mike on our shortened camping trip, though i think he would agree that we were in our own thoughts most of the time. we each had a lot to think about. when we arrived at our destination, a short 2 hour hike into the mountain from HC, the weather was good with blue skies, moderate warmth, and a healthy breeze. we must have stayed in shape the preceding nine months to an extent greater than we expected because we booked it up that hill at 9-10,000 feet with thirty pound packs. taking advantage of our youthful, endless energy we explored the surrounding area and quickly realized we were bordered by a stream on one side, a mountain on the other, and snow ahead, blocking any chance of hiking further, but comfortable nonetheless. maybe we overestimated our youthful, endless energy because after arriving back at the camp we had set up we took a nap. fast forward two hours; the weather descended into perpetually overcast skies, whipping wind, and an occasional light sprinkling. by observing the sky over the mountains west of us we predicted rougher conditions to follow immanently. we needed a new camping location. fortunately during mike's exploration part two he stumbled upon a nearby covered camp site complete with a low, thick, tree canopy and fire ring. so, we dragged our tent for the second time to a new camp site, camp site mark 3. at csm3 we started a campfire; it took us three tries and one frustrating hour with slightly wet wood. the fire roared an hour and a half until right around 7:30. the weather had grown worse...but to the east over HC and the valley we could see blue skies and sunlight. life. unfortunately the weather was moving in that direction and only darker skies were following.
me, "hey mike, what time is it?"
mike, "i'll give you one guess."
me, "7:30"
mike, "7:30"
this was moderately depressing since we were both bored and thinking about who we were missing out on back at HC.
me, "you know we can go back"
mike, "you want to?"
me, "yes"
'nuff said. we packed up camp and extinguished the fire in ten minutes and were down the mountain in 45. we booked and made it back to HC in time for dark to comfortably set in. the rest of the evening was spent with the foxes, karin, and destinie watching "the alaska experiment" on a leather couch. let me tell you that i felt like infinitely less of an outdoorsman that night. the folks on the alaska experiment hiked 40 miles across frozen alaskan wilderness including 30 degree rivers, miles of glacier, and frozen morraines, in a period of 7 days. they camped in sub-zero temperatures and traveled far beyond reasonable capacity. they did all of this to socialize with two other people. i am a wuss who dodged a night of 30 degree weather in slightly wet conditions. but, i did it for relationships that i cherish. i learned a lot about myself that night. i have nothing to prove and people are more important than pretty places.

mary k

that is my sister. she is very cool and cute and in italy right now. i just decided to dedicate my blog to her for a little while, primarily because i really like this picture of her and because she is far surpassing me in cool points as we speak. bravo mary k, bravo. i get to talk to her via skype tomorrow morning for the first time since she left (thanks to my parents for the webcam b-day present.) i think everyone needs to skype. if you have skype let me know so we can see eachother.

holiness

i have found it impossible to comprehend the process employed by the Lord in bringing about a change of heart. it is especially impossible in the midst of the process to understand it. i suppose there are several steps within each greater step, though i don't suppose to fully grasp each little step or even to be aware of each little step. there is one little step however, that i am aware of and have better acquaintance with than any other. it's the step of stripping away. i say it's a step because i believe it's part of the process of change. and the primary object of the change of which i'm speaking is the heart; given by God, shaped by God, in fact God's very heart.

i say i'm familiar with it because it seems to have occured pretty frequently in my own life lately. i feel like i've been continually stripped of things this year, both things that i thought were good (and in fact are in several senses) and things that i know are bad. seminary has been the most difficult and most rewarding experience of my life to this point. i have fought it. i have fought the Lord most steps along the way. i've come to realize that being stripped from the inside by the Lord is probably much easier when i just let it happen. though most of the time i don't, and it probably hurts worse for that reason.

it's all for the sake of holiness. holiness is a concept no doubt foreign in its truest sense to most christians. i say that not condescendingly as if i have it figured out, because i know i do not. i say it sadly. i've caught merely a glimpse of it though even from this glimpse i realize that i do not observe it in most of my brothers and sisters. but who am i to observe from the outside? "you will know the tree by its fruits," but the fruits of another tree are not mine to judge. only my own fruits are mine to judge, and from them i know that i haven't done a good job pursuing holiness. the very thing i fight is the same thing i recognize as being the best. holiness is steep, holiness is radical, and part of the process of holiness is letting God strip of you of anything hindering you from closeness to Him. at least that's what i think a part of its process is.

holiness scares me, which is why i fight it. and by fighting i force myself into taking the long way to the Father. i think i'm gonna just run for Him. so without apology, i will be allowing what will probably be viewed as drastic and unnecessary changes for the sake of holiness. i know that i won't be as close to God without it. i pray that i can run with abandon.

joe and i have recognized some needs here at the seminary. to be frank, there are a lot of needs here. this place is...hard. hardened. pray for us as we pursure holiness and work for the needs of those here.

it's over

that's right. school is out and summer has arrived. thankfully the heat has yet to arrive, though i'm pretty sure it is officially summer time. i suppose if it's officially summer to me then it's officially summer. i could care less about all the elementary school wieners still in class. as far as i'm concerned it's summer, buddy. so what's the first thing i'm doing for summer? well i can tell you the first thing i did. i got sick. that's right, two stressful days after my last final my body decided it had had enough of my antics and would take no more. so it essentially shut down, knocking me out for a few days with a righteous cold. my head is still stuffy and my voice still deep and sexy. the end of a cold is always bitter-sweet because though i feel better, my sweet, deep voice leaves.

after recovering from my cold i'll venture to houston to see my sister off to italy and to celebrate my cousin's long-awaited graduation. then i'm hopping a jet up to the CO for 9 days. oh sweet wilderness! i may not return, and i say that not as jokingly as you may think.

i won't be taking six hours this summer but three, if i return from CO. school is both expensive and physically taxing. i need time to make money and recuperate. my will has been broken. i need rest.

you can expect more soon concerning the lo-fi concept, hopefully i'll make more sense with it, and then a bit on the need for a divine renaissance, if i return from CO.

changing the world, baby.